Nine Months
by paulacole
Summary: Returning to my raunchy, angsty roots. Set after Chimera, shamelessly deviates from the series. Sam's got some competition for Daniel, and of course love doesn't go smoothly.
1. Chapter 1

Nine Months 

_I'm returning to my roots – raunchy, angsty melodrama! Set after Chimera. Sam's got some competition for Daniel…_

_Shamelessly off-course to the real Stargate. Everything after Chimera has been reworked, so Janet doesn't die :p And Sam never meets Pete in this one. _

_Of course I don't own anything. If I did, I'd be writing scripts, not fanfiction. _

_I've had it pointed out to me that my portrayal of Daniel and Samantha in the changeroom in the original version of this chapter can be construed as condoning rape in some circumstances. It wasn't my intention to do this. My intention was for Daniel to force Samantha to acknowledge her feelings for him, albeit in a violent way, but rape was definitely not my intention. I should have had Janet taken him to task over it, and I hope for those of you who have read the original this is a more realistic portrayal. _

Chapter One 

Doctor Daniel Jackson and Major Samantha Carter had spent the night at a local salsa club, dancing it up to the seductive music, sparks flying between the two. They had undeniable chemistry, which Daniel was more then eager to pursue, and Samantha was equally determined to ignore. Every few months, he had a pass at her – a linger caress, a kiss that was a little too intimate – and she would tell him off in no uncertain terms, leaving him chastised and keeping a suitable distance. Until the next time.

The truth was, Samantha didn't do much to discourage him. She had to admit, she liked the way he kept hanging around. He was undeniably attractive, and she was undeniably attracted _to_ him. He treated her like a queen, and never ask for anything more then a kiss to the cheek. Most of the time, at least, and on those few times she sternly rebuffed him and he went back to his corner.

So they had spent the night, one of their few nights off together, dancing up a storm to the sultry music. It was heady and sensual – Samantha loved it. She loved being with Daniel, she loved that he was in love with her – after all, she had never _asked_ for it, and if he chose to give his heart of his own free will, well, that wasn't her fault. She went along with the sensual feel of the music, grinding against Daniel's body – and his more sensitive parts – loving the reaction she got out of him.

Finally he'd been played with beyond endurance, and taking her arm, he led her out of the club to the quieter area outside. She had been all over him that night, and he was convinced that tonight was the night – all the signs she was giving out said so.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her close to him, and lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her, his kiss was soft but insistent, for a few moments demanding that she kiss him back. And she did, losing herself in the chemistry she shared with Daniel…

… And then she got hold of herself. This was _Daniel_, for Christ sakes, her kind-of subordinate. OK, so Daniel had questioned the legitimacy of that relationship many a time – how could he be her subordinate when he wasn't even military? – but that was still how she tried to see him. It made it easier to justify their relationship, or lack thereof.

She pushed away from him, reluctantly but resolutely. " Daniel, " she chided. " I told you. We're just friends. "

The reaction she got from Daniel wasn't exactly the one she expected – certainly not the one he'd given her for all these years. He pulled away from her violently and walked quickly towards his car. Samantha was forced to chase after him, which in the stiletto heels she was definitely not used to walking in, was a difficult proposition.

At least, Daniel was too much of a gentleman to drive off without her, although he was thoroughly pissed off at her. " Hey! " she yelled, irritated at his sudden outburst. " What gives? "

" _You_, Sam, " Daniel said through gritted teeth. " You do this to me everytime. You let me get close and then you push me away. "

" You know I don't want a relationship, " Samantha reminded him indignantly.

" You don't want a relationship with _me_, " Daniel corrected, and Samantha had no answer for that. It was true. She was scared of the complications a relationship with Daniel would bring, for all that she loved him and was attracted to him.

" It's not that simple, " she said instead.

" I don't see how, " Daniel responded, his blue eyes flashing with built-up resentment. " You're attracted to me. I'm attracted to you. I can transfer teams if you want – I've offered enough times. What else can I give you, Sam? "

Samantha was silent. Every word Daniel spoke was true. He had more then once systematically destroyed every argument she had against them being together – namely, their working together. He would immediately give up the rapport he had with Jack and Teal'c and transfer out of SG-1 if it meant he could be with her. But still she turned him down. And she had no idea why, except the idea of committing herself like that scared the crap out of her.

What she and Daniel did for a living was insanely dangerous. They could get hurt or killed at any moment. She didn't know if she could be in a relationship with a person and have that hanging over their head. Better to have their flirtation thing going then get involved in a real relationship.

" Get in, " Daniel commanded. " I'll take you home. " There was no emotion in his voice ; it was like he had given up. He had spent the last six years pursuing Samantha (well, five if you didn't count the year he'd been ascended), always to be rebuffed even though he _knew_ she was attracted to him. This particular night was the last straw. He'd had enough. He didn't care anymore.

" Daniel, I'm sorry, " Samantha said, realising she'd pushed Daniel too far this time.

Daniel refused to look at her. " Forget it, " he said. " I want to pretend like this never happened. "

His words stung Samantha, but she was too proud and too afraid of the consequences to give Daniel the only thing that would make him happy to be around her again – her unconditional love. Better that they should just be teammates then get involved the way Daniel wanted them to be involved.

He dropped her off without saying goodnight. His angry silence cut right through her heart, but still, she was too proud and too scared to say anything. As she walked up her front path, she tried to tell herself that it was better this way – that there was nothing to be gained from getting emotionally involved with Daniel, and that they should each go their separate ways. Even if that meant being involved with other people.

Daniel soon became preoccupied with dreams of his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Gardner. Every night he relived their short-lived relationship, only the details were different. She was more adoring, more eager to help him in his work – more forgiving when he missed their two-month anniversary. In reality, she had dumped him over it.

It was Teal'c who suggested 'Sarah' might actually be 'Osiris', using his host's past relationship with Daniel to manipulate him into translating a device. Since Osiris was an underling of Anubis, and Anubis had technologies like they hadn't seen before, it was entirely likely. So they set a trap for Osiris.

It almost ended up a disaster when Osiris was cornered and attempted to zat his way out of captivity, but the team managed to contain him. The Tok'ra had almost perfected the art of removing a Goa'uld symbiote without killing the host or the symbiote, and they were delighted to have Anubis's second-in-command in their hands.

And Daniel was delighted to have Sarah back.

He had felt awful when Sarah had been taken as a host, almost as bad as when his wife Sha're had been taken. It had cut him almost as deeply to see Sarah being controlled by Osiris as it had to see Sha're be controlled by Amonet.

Only this time, they had managed to extract the symbiote and saved Sarah. Which was more then they had done for Sha're. Daniel felt a little guilt mingled with his relief over that. Of course he was delighted that Sarah was back, but he couldn't help but wish things had been a little different and he could have had Sha're returned to him.

Not that it mattered much these days. He realised he had long since moved on from Sha're. His dumb devotion to Samantha was testimony enough to that.

He and Samantha had barely spoken since the salsa club. They were professional to each other, but Daniel had meant was he said about it being all or nothing. Samantha had made it clear that she didn't want a relationship, and Daniel had made it clear that he didn't want anything _but_ a relationship.

So they were at an impasse. And Sarah helped take Daniel's mind off it.

Understandable, Sarah was distraught about what she had done through Osiris. Daniel had stayed with her in the infirmary while she rested, and was there when she woke up. He had thought she would like some company ; he recalled Sha're and Skarra's testimonies about the atrocities they'd witnessed ; like hell nothing of the host remained when taken by a Goa'uld symbiote. _Ha, parasite is more like it_, Daniel thought bitterly. In that regard he had to respect that the Tok'ra had a truly symbiotic relationship with their host. But he wasn't as bitter as he might have been. After all, things had turned out as best as they could – Sarah was OK, and the Tok'ra had a pretty impressive prize to show for it. And Anubis was without one of his most important generals.

But mostly, Sarah was OK.

Eventually she woke up. " Daniel? " she cried up, the first thing she saw being her ex who, under the influence of Osiris, she had attempted to kill. That was the main horror that she had dwelled on while being the submissive personality under Goa'uld influence.

" It's alright. I'm here. It's all over. You're free, " Daniel said, jumping to assure Sarah that everything was going to be alright. He could only imagine the horrors Sarah had seen, had done under the influence of Osiris. He hoped the Tok'ra tortured the snake bastard after they'd gotten all the information out of him.

Sarah flung herself into Daniel's arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as if he were a lifejacket of humanity in the sea of evil she had seen. " I'm so sorry, " she cried.

" It's not your fault, " Daniel said. " Believe me, I have some experience with this. "

" I couldn't stop it, " Sarah said tearfully. She didn't have to say anything more for Daniel to understand.

" I'll get you through this, " he promised, and he meant it. When Sarah looked up at him and their eyes met, he forgot all about Samantha. All he could think about was this beautiful women in his arms, who needed him desperately right now.

It was nice to be needed.

Because Sarah no longer had a place of her own, Daniel offered to let her stay the night at his place. In fact, she could stay there for a while – it wasn't like he spent an awful lot of time in it, between mission and debriefing and it being easier just to stay on the base.

He would have let her stay there by herself, but he realised she was in no condition to be alone, so he volunteered to stay with her. She smile at him gratefully, and hugged him again. She trembled when she hugged him, and he held her tightly, afraid she was going to pass out or something from the sheer stress of the situation.

Samantha looked suspiciously at Sarah and Daniel. She understood, as a woman, something that Daniel, as a man, could not – that Sarah was looking for something more then platonic from Daniel.

When she could grab a few minutes with Daniel without the beautiful blond clinging to him, she said, " Don't take advantage of her. "

Daniel glared at Samantha. " As if I would, " he snarled, resentful of Samantha's interference. She had made it perfectly clear what she wanted from him – absolutely nothing. She had no right to say anything now. And Daniel was hurt that Samantha thought he would make a move on Sarah. She obviously thought very little of him. She obviously had never known him.

It wasn't concern for Sarah that had motivated Samantha's comment ; it was jealousy, although she'd die rather then admit it. She was jealous of the attention Daniel was paying Samantha. She had always considered herself reasonably attractive – Daniel had certainly always found her very attractive – but compared to Sarah, she felt like Plain Jane. But she would never admit she was jealous, not after she'd made it clear she wasn't interested in a relationship with Daniel, so she pretended to be concerned for Sarah's welfare.

She knew she'd trodden on Daniel's sensitive feelings by implying she thought so little of him. She knew Daniel would rather die then take advantage of a woman. She knew that well, it was one of the things she loved about him. But she had just made it seem like she didn't know that – just one more thing for Daniel to resent her for.

She told herself it didn't matter. She and Daniel were professionals, colleagues, that was it. There was nothing more to it. Daniel could screw Sarah's brains out for all she cared.

" It's not much, but it's home – a few days a year, at least, " Daniel said wryly as he opened the door to his apartment to let he and Sarah in. They had come from a shopping trip where Sarah had gotten a few things to tide her over for a little while until they worked out what they were going to do with her. Hammond had offered all the resources the airforce could muster, and they were going to need it, because it wasn't everyday that beautiful, well-known archaeologists just disappeared – quite literally – off the face of the earth.

Sarah smiled gratefully. " It's fine, " she said. " It's more then fine – thankyou so much for this, Daniel. " She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

The intimate gesture surprised Daniel – but it was a pleasant surprise – and something more then that. He tried not to think that he might be attracted to Sarah. That would just complicate things terribly, especially in her current condition.

" It's nothing, " he said self-consciously, suddenly thinking of the steamy nights he and Sarah had spent together on the rare times she had managed to tear him away from his work. He was really sorry about that now. He wished he had known Sarah later in his life, when he was less concerned about work.

They whiled away the hours with pizza and wine, their conversation alternating between what they'd been doing with their lives in the last fifteen years and Sarah's experiences with Osiris. At first, she was reluctant to talk about her life with the Goa'uld symbiote, but Daniel patiently pried the memories out of her, knowing that it was best for her to talk about, knowing that it would be easier for her to talk to him then anyone else.

Haltingly at first, she confided in him the things she had witnessed as host to Osiris. While she hadn't actually _done_ those things, and anyone could have told her that, she still felt responsible for it.

She especially felt responsible for trying to kill Daniel.

Daniel smirked. " You certainly wouldn't be the first of my ex-lovers to try and kill me with one of those hand-devices, " he said wryly, and he told her about Sha're. Funny how it didn't hurt to talk to her anymore.

" You must have loved her a lot, " Sarah remarked. " To go to that effort to find her. "

Daniel shrugged. " I only wished I could have saved her. "

" But you tried, and that's what counts, " Sarah said softly. " And you saved me. " Her eyes glittered with unshed tears of gratitude. " I can never thank you enough for that, Daniel. " She leaned in to kiss him, and Daniel didn't think anything of it at first, thinking she was going to kiss him on the cheek again. But she kissed him on the mouth, her lips pressed against his, soft but persistent, urging him to kiss her back.

And God, how he wanted to kiss her back. But he couldn't. He didn't want to take advantage of her.

" What's wrong? " Sarah asked. " Do you… not want me after what happened? " She, too, remembered a time when Daniel had wanted her very much – any least when she could drag him away from his work. One of the memories she had clung to were the few nights she had spent with Daniel in the two months they had been together – so passionate, so alive. The memories had made her feel almost human.

" Of course I want you, " Daniel said, figuring there was no point in denying the obvious chemistry between them. It had been there when they got together, when they broke up, at the funeral – where he assumed she was under the influence of Osiris – it was there now. " I just… don't want to take advantage of you. You've been through a lot and I don't think now is the right time to get into a relationship. "

Sarah smiled, a little understandingly, a little sadly. She was very aware of the feelings Daniel had for Samantha, even if he tried to deny it. And she was pretty sure she returned those feelings.

But she also knew that Daniel loved her as a friend, and was attracted to her, like she loved him and was attracted to him. And right now she needed to be close to someone – as close as she could get.

" I don't want a relationship Daniel… I want you… I want to be with you tonight… I want to feel human again… _please_. "

Her voice was pleading, almost begging, and it broke all Daniel's resolve, what little of it there was. He leaned in to kiss her, muttering, " I hope I don't regret this tomorrow. "

" Just tonight, Daniel, " Sarah promised. " No strings. "

Their kiss was a combination of the familiar and the new, the comfortable and the explosive. Though the morning would bring complications despite what they'd said, right now it felt so _right_…

Soon they were making out on Daniel's couch, their hands wandering each other's bodies, their clothes coming off quickly. It had been fifteen years since they had been intimate, but they still knew each other well.

It felt perfectly natural for them to head to the bedroom where the sex was absolutely explosive. It had been a while for Daniel, but he still couldn't believe how Sarah could make him perform. Sex with Sarah had always been explosive. And right now it felt so goddamn _right_.

In the early hours of the morning, both of them absolutely exhausted, Daniel and Sarah lay in bed together, Sarah's head resting on Daniel's chest, an arm thrown casually across his torso. " One of the things I held onto when I was – well, you know – were the nights I spent with you, " she murmured contentedly.

She felt Daniel stiffen involuntarily when she said this. " I'm not asking for anything, " she reassured him. " I'm just saying… memories of you always made me feel a little more human… I don't think I would have gotten through it without him. "

Daniel kissed the top of her head. " I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted like that, " he said sheepishly. " It's just that – well, Sam warned me about this and I'm worried I might have taken advantage of you. "

" You made me feel human again, Daniel, " Sarah chided Daniel for the guilt he felt. " You've done whatever's the opposite of taking advantage of me. I feel – well, maybe you understand. "

" Yeah, " Daniel agreed softly, feeling foolish for having thought so little of Sarah – and himself. " I do. "

The next day Daniel left Sarah with his cash card and gave her permission to spend it on whatever she saw fit. It was genuine friendship and not guilt that provoked Daniel's generosity. She needed some things beyond the basics they'd bought yesterday and besides, he figured if anything would make Sarah feel human again (besides incredible sex, of course) it would be shopping.

They didn't speak about their night of passion in the morning, but Sarah made it clear in a dozen gestures that she wasn't expecting anything from Daniel other then his friendship. He was incredibly grateful for that. While he didn't feel guilt for the night they'd spent together, a part of him felt like he should have waited.

Oh, who was he kidding? He'd wanted it as badly as she had. Last night had been absolutely perfect. Not even his other nights with Sarah compared – maybe there was a point to be had in that. Daniel felt he was a lot more mellow since he'd ascended, a lot less self-righteous, a lot more laid back. He would never have been able to do what he'd done last night and not feel compelled to propose the next day, just to assuage his guilt. But last night had been absolutely perfect. And they would leave it at that.

He was perkier then usual when he got to the base, everyone knew that – and everyone could guess at the reason. It wasn't that hard, given Daniel had left the afternoon before with a gorgeous blond clinging to him.

Samantha noticed his perkiness too, although she chose not to make anything of it. She was in the change rooms when she saw Daniel. Unisex change rooms were the status quo at the Stargate command – they had seen too much of each other in various states of undress on various mission for it to matter anymore – but it had been a while since they'd been in that position, since before their bust-up, so Samantha felt a sudden surge of apprehension as Daniel began taking his shirt off. She could remember all too clearly how well-developed he was (she had a feeling Oma Desala had decided to tinker with his physique a little when she sent him back to their plane) – how smooth his skin how – how his chest felt when she was pressed against it in a supposedly platonic hug.

Her eyes narrowed as she took in the marks over Daniel's upper body – delicate bite marks and uglier red marks that looked suspiciously like hickeys around his neck and shoulders, scratch marks along his back, and a glowing look in his eyes.

It was plain as day that the man had gotten laid good last night. With a twist in her heart, Samantha recalled her thoughts that Daniel could screw Sarah's brains out for all she cared – it looked like he had gone and done exactly that.

Samantha felt a knot of fury build up in her stomach, and she tried to tell herself it was because Daniel had taken advantage of the poor girl – _after_ she had warned him against it. And he'd had the audacity to act indignant in the face of her warning!

She would not admit to herself that she was angry Daniel was moving on – into the arms of another woman. No, this was entirely about Daniel taken advantage of a woman who had a lot of issues.

" You are _such_ an asshole, " she growled at him, her blue eyes spitting anger – purely because he'd taken advantage of the poor girl, she told herself.

Daniel felt a stab of irritation towards Samantha. He'd been in _such_ a good mood, and she was getting all high-and-mighty about it. Like she had _any_ say in what he did in his private life. " Excuse me? " he asked coolly.

" You – taking advantage of Sarah like that – after I warned you not to, " Samantha said, angrier now that Daniel was refusing to act contrite.

Daniel couldn't help goading Samantha. " Believe me, sweetheart, I didn't take advantage of her. She was begging for it. " It wasn't in his nature to brag, but Samantha was really pissing him off today. She had no claim to his private life – she had given that up of her own free will.

Samantha responded by slapping Daniel with all the strength she had. It gave her a sense of satisfaction to see a red mark appear on his cheek ; served him right, the bastard. She didn't know why she should care, but she did. She told herself she was only looking after Sarah's best interest.

She tried to ignore the pang in her heart when she thought of Daniel and Sarah in bed together. She must have been dynamite to give Daniel all the marks he had. They wouldn't have done it just once, of course. They would have gone at it all night. Samantha hated him for it.

Daniel responded to the slap by pushing her against the lockers. " Cut the crap, Sam, you're only upset because I've moved on, " he growled.

Samantha was furious. Like she cared what he did in his private life! She was only concerned that he was taking advantage of Sarah, she was! " I don't give a fuck about you, " she yelled at him, straining against the tight hold he had on her. She suddenly thought of the saying _caught between a rock and a hard place_. Well, she was caught between a locker and a very hard, very sexy body.

" Then you won't mind if I do this, " Daniel said, and he slammed his mouth down on Samantha's in a kiss that blew her mind.

Instinctively she kissed Daniel back – it felt so right, so raw to respond to such passion. If it hadn't been for Daniel's strong arms securely around her, her legs would have given way under such an onslaught. Oh, God, why hadn't she let Daniel kiss her like this before?

And then she got her wits about her, and a part of her started screaming that this was wrong – that Daniel was treating her like he had Sarah, a convenient bedmate – a part of her that was almost as strong as the part that was responding to Daniel's kiss, that was pressing her body against his, _grinding_ against him. " No, " she said unconvincedly when Daniel abandoned her mouth to lay kisses on her neck. " Stop. "

Her mouth said one thing and her body said another. She was kissing him with passion when his mouth was on hers and groaning with equal desire when it wasn't. She attempted to resist him, and if her heart had been in it, she could have gotten the better of him, but it wasn't, so she couldn't. She pounded her fists uselessly against his bare back ; he responded by pinning them behind her with one hand, using his free hand to unbutton her top.

" Don't! " she yelled, her tone disintegrating into a groan when Daniel cupped her breast with his hand, stroking her nipple. His nose nudged her neck, and she couldn't help but arch her neck to give him better access. " Don't, " she said, much weaker, as she felt the light pressure from his mouth on her neck and she knew that was going to leave a nasty mark. She struggled against him, but not as hard as she could have. She was torn between her head and her heart – or maybe that was just her hormones – and heart, hormones, whatever it was, was winning. She felt desire flood through her body and she wanted Daniel on a raw, animalistic level – and she hated herself for it and wanted out, but her own body betrayed her.

She let out a strangled sob of defeat and desire when Daniel nearly threw her to the cold concrete floor of the change room. She went to get up, but Daniel was too quick – or maybe she was slower then she should be, she _knew_ she could take him down if she wanted to – and he was on top of her, his hard, strong body over hers, making short work of her pants. She could feel his desire pressing against her thigh, and she knew she should be afraid, but she wasn't. She was angry and turned-on – but not afraid. Somewhere deep down she knew Daniel would never force her. Not physically at least. What he was doing was, in its own way – worse. He was forcing her to face up to her feelings, her attraction for him. He was forcing her to want him.

And right now, in spite of herself, she wanted him like she had never wanted a man before.

Oh, God, Jacob would be so disappointed that she'd let a man take her on a cold concrete floor.

Oh, God, she didn't care.

She gave a cry of animal lust when Daniel penetrate her. She started groaning with him when he began thrusting, hard and fast. She loved what he was doing to her and hated him for doing it. He was dominating her, but worse then that, he was forcing her to admit how she felt about him.

" I LOVE YOU, DANIEL! " she screamed as they climaxed together, wrapping her legs around him tightly as he shuddered violently in orgasm. Bet _Sarah_ didn't make him react like that.

For a few moments they lay, tightly entwined, on the concrete floor. Daniel kissed her forehead, the most gentle kiss he'd given her so far – almost loving. Samantha glowed from the after-effects of a spectacular orgasm.

And then she got hold of her senses and realised where she was and what she had just done. She had let Daniel take her on the floor of the change rooms – which were manned with security cameras, no less – like some – _animal_.

" Get the fuck off me, " she growled with far more conviction then she had displayed in her protests. She suddenly felt very dirty. She had relinquished any claim to authority she might have over Daniel. He would never respect her now, and he would brag to every man on the base about how he'd scored with Major Carter and how she'd groaned and told him she loved him while she was climaxing – on a concrete floor, no less. Did she have no shame?

Right now she felt so humiliated she wanted to kill him just so there'd be no witnesses.

Panting from the exertion, Daniel looked at her quizzically. The Samantha he'd just had fast, furious sex with was gone, replaced but a very pissed off woman. " I don't get it, " he said stupidly.

" I mean… get the fuck of me…you _bastard_, " Samantha growled menacingly.

That caused Daniel to jump off, hurt and confusion on his face. " What the hell is wrong with you? " he demanded. They'd just shared a spectacular experience – albeit not in the best of circumstances, a concrete floor was a little too low-class for Daniel's preferred tastes – and now she was acting like he'd _raped _her.

" What the hell is wrong with me? " Samantha parroted incredulously, reaching for her own clothes. Like hell Daniel was going to see her naked any second longer then absolutely necessary – he had already gotten far more then he was entitled to. " You mean, apart from the fact that you practically _raped_ me? "

Daniel started at her incredulously. " I _raped_ you? " he asked. " Honey, maybe you should think back a few minutes – when you were screaming that you loved me while you were having the best orgasm of your _life_. "

Samantha cringed. That was definitely something she didn't want to think about. " I said no, " she reminded him.

" Not very convincingly. "

That was true, but that wasn't the point. " You men are so full of shit, " she snarled. " No means no. I will _not_ be your whore, Daniel. I'm sure Sarah's more then willing to accommodate you there. "

Her words acted like a slap in Daniel's face. " I've never thought of you as a whore, Sam, " he said quietly. " And certainly not mine. "

" You could have fooled me, " Samantha snapped, feeling more and more humiliated as the seconds went by when she thought about how she had allowed herself to be treated. She, Samantha Carter, Major in the Airforce, Feminist Legend in the Military, allowing herself to be fucked on a concrete floor like an animal – a whore! She couldn't stand to be in the same room as Daniel right now – maybe not ever. " Just stay the hell away from me, Daniel, " she ordered before she stormed off, leaving Daniel feeling crushed and bewildered as to what exactly had just happened.

For three days, relations between Samantha and Daniel were frosty. She treated him with such coolness and contempt that he almost believed that he _had_ raped her – only he knew Samantha, or at least thought he knew her, and if he _had_ raped her, she would be screaming it at the top of her lungs. Samantha wasn't the type of woman to let a man get away with something like that – not if she could help it.

Finally, having no-one else to talk to, Daniel confided in Janet. Normally he wouldn't, she was more Samantha's friend then she was his, but he had no-one else to talk to.

He related what had happened to Janet, and she listened intently. Occasionally her eyes flashed in sympathy with Samantha – Daniel hadn't exactly acted like a Knight in Shining Armour – but mostly she kept her peace until Daniel was finished.

She couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him, truth be told. He was in way over his head with Samantha and Sarah – particularly Samantha. " Honestly? " she asked. " I believe you when you say you didn't rape her. Well, I believe you when you say that wasn't what you meant to do. But she did say no, whatever shade of grey that seems to you, Daniel, that does mean rape. And you did treat her like a whore. "

Daniel winced at the word. " I didn't exactly plan it like that, " he defended himself. " I've thought so much about it and – " he cut himself off, blushing when he realised how much he'd given away.

Janet looked sympathetically at Daniel. She knew he'd been sweet on Samantha for ages – and Samantha had been too much of a fool to see a good thing when it was staring her in the face – it didn't surprise her that Daniel had given some thought to the first time they made love. And he was too much of a sweetheart to consider a concrete floor a good place for it.

" I know you didn't plan it, but that doesn't change the fact that you did it, " Janet pointed out. " And after you spent the night with Sarah, too. It looks like you went from one woman to the other without batting an eyelid. "

" It wasn't like that! " Daniel bristled. More then anything, Janet's remarks about rape had hit home painfully. He knew in his gut that she'd wanted it… but she'd said no. It was almost beyond his comprehension. She had told him to stop, but she had wanted it. Daniel buried his head in his hands in confusion.

" Then tell _her_ that, " Janet said pointedly. " Grovel, if you have to. Make her feel like a lady – and in command. You made her give up control, you got her to tell you she loves you – while she was on her back in the change room floor. She's gotta be feeling pretty sore about that, Daniel. You have to make it up to her . "

The next day, Daniel showed up to Samantha's quarters, hands behind his back, looking very contrite. " Can we please talk? " he asked, and his pleading tone softened Samantha's resolve enough that she let him in. She didn't stop glaring at him, though.

" I'm so, so sorry about what happened between us, " Daniel said. " I never met for it to happen that way. "

" You mean fucking me in the changeroom the day after fucking Sarah? " Samantha asked harshly. " At least you respected her enough to do her in a bed – in _your_ bed, " she added. She couldn't help but compare the contrast – with Sarah, it had been in his apartment, his bed, his private space, with her it had been on the concrete floor of the changeroom where the worked. He had given that simpering English bitch much more respect then he had her, and she hated him for it – and herself for taking it.

Daniel flinched at her choice of words – he had always, _always_ hated that particular euphemism. It was so… _base_. " I was angry… and hurt about the things you said about me… I would never take advantage of a woman, Sam, I would never hurt a woman. You know that. "

Questioning his honesty, Samantha pulled open her shirt enough that Daniel could make out the fading mark he had left on her neck. Christ, he'd really done a number on her. " I'm sorry, " he said again. " I don't know what else to say, Sam. I care about you and respect you – that it happened the way it did doesn't change that. Don't you think I wish it had been somewhere nicer? Believe me, " he added ruefully, not caring about what he was confessing at this point, " I've thought about being with you, and it was never in the changeroom. "

Daniel's words reminded Samantha of how much of a sweetheart he was, and how much he loved and respected her. Deep down she knew, and she had always known, that he wouldn't have raped her – _couldn't_ have raped her. He had wanted her to want it. He had wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her.

Daniel sensed Samantha's resolve slipping, and he closed the distance between them, taking her hands in his. " I love you, " he said quietly. " You don't have to say anything, and I won't hold what you said against you, but I just wanted you to know – I love you. And I would never hurt you – that one time was the exception, I swear. "

Samantha's face scrunched up as she tried not to cry. " You made me feel like a whore, " she accused him, and her words broke his heart.

" I know, and I'm sorry – it'll never happen again, " he promised with sincerity that Samantha found impossible to discredit. " I don't understand – I don't know if I raped you or not. I know you wanted it – I wanted you to want it. I wanted you to acknowledge that you wanted me, even if I had to force it out of you. If that's rape… " his voice cracked with guilt and remorse but he forced himself to continue. " Sam, I'll understand if, after this, you don't want to be with me – I won't hold it against you, I promise. But I just want you to know that you mean the world to me and if there's any hope of us – well, I'm here. "

Samantha sniffled. " What about Sarah? " she asked.

" Sarah one a one-night thing, I swear. She needed me that night, I swear I didn't take advantage of her. We agreed there would be no strings – I think she knew I was in love with you. If it makes you feel any better, she's living in an apartment owned by the airforce until she decides what she wants to do. "

It _did_ make her feel better – Samantha definitely did not want a stunning blond ex-love of Daniel's set up in his apartment.

" So what do you say? " Daniel asked, his breath caught in his throat as he waited for Samantha's answer – did she want to be with him or did she want him to go to hell?

With a cry, Samantha threw herself into Daniel's arms, pressing her body tightly against his. Daniel wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him, basking in her scent, her feel. God, how he loved her. " I take that as a yes, then, " he murmured, and knew the best thing to do while she composed herself was hold her tight.

Two months passed, with Samantha and Daniel seeing each other secretively whenever they caught, although it wasn't that much of a secret to anyone on the base. Several Stargate employees had learned the hard way never to barge into their quarters without knocking when the door was closed. But Hammond had suggested they give it a while following Daniel's transferral to SG-7 before going public, just so the Kinseys of the world wouldn't have anything to complain about. God forbid two people find love in their workplace. It was a trial, having to pretend they weren't together – they especially missed being able to spend the night together – but it was agreed it was the best situation for the time being.

One day they were together in Daniel's quarters after an incredible session of sex that had affected Daniel much more deeply then it had Samantha – she was frustrated by a piece of technology they'd found on a recently-explored planet, couldn't get it to work, so she was distracted and having trouble climaxing – so he was trying to return the favour with a little head. He loved the taste of her, loved being so up close and personal while she responded to his ministrations, except he was beginning to get frustrated himself. She was almost there, but she couldn't quite climax and he was afraid he groaning was going to attract some attention soon.

Just when he had her on the brink, there was a discreet knock on the door. " Dr. Jackson, there's someone here to see you, " came a voice.

" Tell them to go away, I'm busy, " Daniel yelled through the door. He knew he didn't have any appointments today and anyone who saw fit to barge in on his time with Samantha could go to hell.

" Doctor Jackson, you might want to take this one – it's Sarah Gardner, and she says its very important. "

At the mention of Daniel's ex's name, Samantha felt her orgasm slip through her fingers and she groaned in frustration, wriggling out of Daniel's grasp. " Tell him to give us two minutes, " she said wearily.

Daniel gave her a penetrating look. " Are you sure? " he asked. " Sarah's not as important to me as you are. "

She appreciated the sentiment, but knew the moment was lost. " It's OK, we can continue some other time, " she said.

Five minutes later, Sarah entered Daniel's quarters, looking beautiful as usual but apprehensive. " Hi, " she said nervously. " Sorry to barge in on you like this, I wouldn't do it if it wasn't important. " She glanced between Samantha and Daniel and realised she had interrupted something. It didn't surprise her that they had gotten together, although it did make what she had to say a little more difficult.

Daniel tried to be patient, when what he really wanted to do was get back to being naked with Samantha. " It's OK, " he said as convincingly as he could. " What's up? "

Sarah bit her lip nervously and clenched her fists. " Hey, Sarah, whatever it is, you can tell me. Would you rather we were alone? "

" No, it's OK – I guess if you guys are together it kind of concerns Samantha as well. It's just that, well – I'm pregnant. "


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two 

_I'm pregnant_.

The two words lingered in the air, so potent they could almost be seen. Daniel hadn't spoken to Sarah since their night together, so it had been in the back of his mind that she had something pretty important to say, but this had never occurred to him.

_I'm pregnant_.

Samantha had certainly not expected such a bombshell. " I'll give you guys some time alone, " she said, jumping up and leaving Daniel's quarters.

Daniel watched her go, a slightly amused expression on his face. " Do you think she was eager to get out of here? " he asked wryly.

Sarah gave a pained smile. She could understand Samantha perfectly – she wouldn't want to be in her position. Hell, she didn't like being in her own position. " Maybe I should have found a better way of telling you. "

" I don't think there is a better way to say something like that, " he remarked. His throat was dry and he thought he sounded hoarse. " Sit down. " He sat on his bed and patted the space next to him. " I think we need to talk. " Now, there was an understatement.

Sarah sat down, cross-legged, facing Daniel. Daniel's eyes automatically wandered to her torso, searching for a subtle baby bulge.

Sarah blushed when she realised what Daniel was doing – the action made the situation seem so much more real. " I've spent hours in front of the mirror already, I'm not showing, " she said confidently.

Daniel blushed when he realised he'd been caught out. He felt like a nervous schoolboy. " I know I sound like a cad, but – "

" It's yours, Daniel, " Sarah said, not offended. She was sure she would ask the same thing if she were in his position. " There hasn't been anyone else since… before. " The less she had to directly refer to Osiris, the better.

It was the reply Daniel had been expecting – Sarah had never been the type to sleep around – but he was still a little disappointed. It would be so much easier to be a supportive friend then a father, as caddish as that seemed. Well, he was going to be a father so he might as well face up to it. " What do you want me to do? " he asked quietly.

Sarah was surprised at how quickly Daniel got hold of himself. She herself had been anxious, panicky and borderline hysterical for over a week before she had decided what she wanted to do. " You don't have to do anything, Daniel, " she told him. " Not if you don't want to. I just thought you'd want to know so you can decide what you want to do. "

" I take it you've decided what you want to do, then? " Daniel asked. Sarah nodded. " How long have you known? "

" Two weeks, " she admitted. " I didn't see any reason for putting you through my indecision so I put off telling you until I decided. "

She paused maddeningly. " And? " Daniel prompted.

" And… I've decided I want to keep it, " she said. " I thought about all the options and I know in my heart this is the right thing to do. You don't have to do anything, Daniel. I'll understand if you don't want to jeopardise this thing you have with Samantha. She doesn't seem to like me much. "

" We kinda got together under strained circumstances, " Daniel admitted, remembering the words they'd had about Sarah, followed by some less-then-dignified behaviour on the changeroom floor… Daniel blinked to the present situation, thought about it for all of three seconds, and had made up his mind. There was no real alternative for someone like Daniel Jackson. " Of course I wanna do something, Sarah. I don't want to be just a sperm doner. "

Sarah smiled. " You're taking this rather calmly, Doctor Jackson, " she commented. She had always called him 'Doctor Jackson' when she was particularly impressed with him.

Daniel shrugged nonchalantly. " Being hysterical is not going to change things, " he said.

Sarah leaned over to touch him gently on the cheek. " You've changed, " she commented.

Daniel smiled wryly. " So people keep telling me. Ascension, I guess. Back to this… what do you want from me? Financially, I mean? " Being an intergalactic defender of the planet was hardly a poor-paying job, and as he'd never had much use for money – the army paid for most of his expenses – he'd squirreled it away into a nice little nest egg thanks to some careful investing. His kid would never go wanting.

" _You_ would be much preferable to your money, Daniel, " Sarah chided him gently.

Daniel took Sarah's hands in his. They were so small and helpless, so beguiling of who she really was. " That's a given, " he said softly. " Anything you want from me - my time, my support – it's yours. I only meant that I don't want you to go without something because you can't afford it. I'm very comfortable in that regard. "

Impulsively, Sarah reached over to hug Daniel. While money wasn't going to be a huge issue for her, it was still something of a relief to know she had Daniel's support in that regard – and his emotional support, too. " Thankyou, " she said.

Daniel was surprised. As far as he was concerned, he was just going to right thing – although it was hardly an obligation. " For what? " he asked.

" Most guys wouldn't be this nice about a kid they fathered from a one-night stand, " Sarah pointed out.

Daniel returned her hug, although his mind was already racing through how this would affect his relationship with Samantha. " I'm not most guys, " he pointed out. He'd died and been brought back to life more times then he could remember, not to mention the year he'd spent on a higher place of existence. That had a tendency to put things into perspective. Daniel wasn't about to tun away from his responsibilities – not that he considered it an obligation. Briefly he wondered if there was a way to make 'the right thing' and 'responsibility' sound like a good thing.

" You're right, " Sarah said, suddenly very reassured. " You're not like most guys. "

" I'm here for you, Sarah, " Daniel promised. " Whatever you need, I'm here. "

Later that night, Daniel was once more trying to finish what he'd started with Samantha, only every time she was close to climaxing she felt compelled to ask a question about Sarah, her pregnancy and their relationship.

" _Where is she going to live? In her own place or with you? "_

" _How do you plan on supporting her? "_

" _Is it going to be a Gardner or a Jackson? "_

She didn't seem able to relax enough to climax, and it was driving Daniel crazy. " For Christ sake's, Sam, " he finally yelled, his patience having come to and end. " I'm trying to make you cum and all you can think about is my ex! "

" I'm sorry, " Samantha said contritely. " I just can't stop thinking about it. " The seeds of jealousy were growing in Samantha's heart. She knew, from a thousand throwaway remarks, that Daniel was keen on having kids, as well as she knew that her own chances of motherhood were slim now – she was just getting too old, and truth be told, she didn't think she wanted kids. Oh, for sure, she'd make a great aunt and stepmother, but to actually be totally responsible for the little things? Not with her career. Daniel had kind of accepted this without them ever speaking about it, and Samantha had been secure that Daniel's love for her overrode any desire for children.

Sarah's impending pregnancy seemed to throw a rather large spanner in those works. She was beautiful, she had great chemistry with Daniel and she was carrying his child.

Daniel sensed Samantha's thoughts as if they were written on her forehead – which they practically were, the way she was unconsciously pouting. " I didn't exactly plan for this to happen, " he pointed out. He decided not to mention that he would much rather it be Samantha who was carrying his child – he knew how she felt about being a mother, and anyway, he suspected it was getting too late for her to have children.

" You were kind of irresponsible, " Samantha couldn't help but pointing out. " What were you thinking, not using a condom? "

_I was thinking about how incredibly sexy she was_, Daniel thought, and he was afraid his blushing was giving away his thoughts.

He was right ; Samantha knew from the red in his cheeks that he was remembering exactly what had distracted him from using protection that night. In a huff, she threw the pillow at him and stalked out of his quarters.

Daniel knew better then to go after her in this mood. He knew he had accepted Sarah's pregnancy and his fatherhood prospects with remarkable calm ; it was going to be much harder for Samantha to accept it, and he vowed to give her as much time as she needed to get used to it. Which wasn't going to be easy, given he'd promised Sarah whatever she needed to help her through. He wanted to be there through Sarah's pregnancy and his child's life, but he didn't want Samantha to get upset over it.

Oh, how much he wanted _Samantha_ to be the one carrying his child. That would be perfect. Maybe that was why she was in such a huff – she was feeling insecure.

Daniel found her the next day, much calmer. He sat next to her, taking her hand in his. " I'm sorry, " he said simply. " I shouldn't have thought about… that. I've got no excuse for it except that that was the first time I've thought about her since you and I got together. She means nothing to me – not like that – I swear. "

It was difficult to stay mad at Daniel when he was being so sincere. Samantha leaned her head against him, resting it on his shoulder. Daniel responded by wrapping an arm around her back and kissing the top of her blond head.

" It makes me feel a little jealous, " she admitted softly, not wanting to confess to such an emotion. Airforce Majors weren't supposed to do petty emotions like jealous ; it was unbecoming.

" I got the distinct impression you don't want children, " Daniel reminded her.

Samantha sighed ; it was all so confusing. " I don't… I just don't like the idea of another woman having your child. I don't like the idea of you wanting something that I don't want to give… that I might not even be able to give, even if I wanted to. "

She sounded so forlorn, and Daniel's heart went out to her. " This doesn't change my feelings for you, " he said sincerely. " I love you. I always have and I always will. But I want to be in my child's life, you can understand that, can't you? "

Samantha nodded. It wasn't in her heart to deprive Daniel of something he so obviously wanted very much. She knew she could be a very good stepmother to his child. Maybe in time she, Daniel and Sarah could even be friends – but only out of necessity, of course. There would always be that wedge between them – Sarah would have given Daniel something that Samantha wouldn't, or couldn't. And that was something Samantha would never really get over.

When Hammond heard of Sarah's pregnancy and Daniel's paternity, he began doing some changes to the mission plans. He figured the best thing for them right now was to have some time and space apart. The General knew them both well, and he knew Daniel would insist on playing a big part in his child's life. And he knew equally as well that no matter what she said to the contrary, Samantha would have a hard time dealing with that. So for the moment, Hammond considered the best thing for them was to have some time apart to work out what they wanted from each other.

Funnily enough, Samantha found herself confiding more and more in Jack these days. It had started out as something of a necessity, with Hammond sending SG-1 on so many mission lately. Samantha wasn't a fool ; she knew Hammond was keeping her and Daniel separated a lot, and since Daniel wanted to be there for Sarah during her pregnancy, it made sense that Samantha be the one to be sent off-world.

God, she missed Daniel. She hadn't realised how much she liked having him close until they'd been separated into two different teams. And now it was even worse – now they were seeing practically nothing of each other, just a few days every few weeks between missions.

And it didn't help that Daniel spent so much time with Sarah. They went to prenatal classes, read dozens and dozens of books together, sought out other expectant parents. Samantha tried not to be jealous over it, she knew she should be glad Daniel was so dutiful to his child – it was typical of him – but it was hard, when she'd come back to earth and ask where her boyfriend was, only to be informed he was off-based, with his former lover.

She had found out from Hammond that Daniel shifted a lot of his stuff between the base and Sarah's apartment every day so he could be in close proximity of Sarah. That little revelation had cut Samantha deeply, although she didn't show it.

It was hard not to be a little put out when your boyfriend was spending ten times as much time with his ex then he was with you.

She told Jack as much. Jack was sympathetic, although he saw no immediate solution to the problem. Daniel wasn't going to give up on his child anytime soon, and he hated to this what the response would be if Samantha asked him to. " You were OK with the fact Daniel and Sarah slept together, " Jack pointed out. " You believed him when he said there was nothing between them. How is it different now? "

Samantha knew Jack had a point – she _knew_ Daniel wasn't interested in Sarah, beyond the bond they shared from their unborn child. It was that bond that irritated Samantha more then anything, she had to admit. She would never shared that with Daniel. Sarah Gardner would always have something of Daniel that Samantha wouldn't. And the idea killed her.

" Well, what can you do about it? " Jack asked, ever the practical one. " You can't ask Daniel to stop having anything to do with Sarah. You know him well enough to know how _that_ will turn out. "

Samantha nodded sadly. If she asked Daniel to give up his claim to his child, chances were, he would give up _her_ instead. No, she couldn't ask him that.

But her silence didn't stop her resentment and insecurity growing daily. Jealousy nagged at her like cancer, slowly spreading, until she couldn't stand to hear Daniel mention Sarah or the baby. And he mentioned them so often! The baby kicked today, yesterday Sarah had an ultrasound (it took all of Samantha's acting abilities to look like she cared about the grainy black and white photo), Sarah was starting to show so they went shopping for maternity clothes –

" Stop it! " Samantha yelled suddenly, jealous that Daniel was spending far more time and money on Sarah then he was her. Damn Hammond and his stupid roster. If she were on earth, she could give that beached whale a run for her money, easy. If Daniel was given a choice between sex and his stupid kid and its stupid mother – Samantha smile to herself gleefully. There would be no competition, although of course she didn't dare say that to Daniel.

Daniel looked at Samantha in surprise. He'd always thought she was interested in his baby's progress ; had she just been acting to keep him happy? Daniel felt the bitterness of disappointment rise in his throat and forced it back down before he said something he might regret.

" I thought you were interested in my child, " he said quietly, trying not to let a guilt-tripping tone creep into his voice.

Samantha distinctly heard the guilt-tripping tone in his voice and was immediately on the defensive. " Not when it's all you ever talk about, " she said sullenly.

" I do not talk about it all the time, " Daniel said defensively, although now that he thought about it, Sarah had been in his thoughts a lot lately. But Goddamnit, Samantha had always acted interested – was it his fault she'd been lying to him? " It just happens that this is important to me. "

" And I'm not? " Samantha asked. It was a definite challenge.

" Of course you are, " Daniel replied, irritated that this should be happening. Of _course_ she was important to him. But he saw so little of her and it was so easy to get swept up in all that was happening with Sarah – how could Samantha hold that against him? " But I have other things in my life too, Sam. And it doesn't help that you're hardly in my life at all these days. "

" You make it sound like that's my fault, " Samantha fired.

" Well, you're certainly not complaining to Hammond about it. "

" Neither are you, " Samantha retorted. The truth was, she _liked_ going off world. Why should she give that up just because Daniel wanted her at home? Why should she curtail the best thing in her life because he hadn't thought to use a condom and was stuck on earth catering to Sarah's imminent pregnancy? And it was true that Daniel hadn't done much to rectify the situation either – hadn't done anything, in fact. He _liked_ having a lot of time to spent with Sarah, knowing that he couldn't spent time with Samantha even if she wanted to – it was kind of hard to be in the same space as someone who was on a different planet. Samantha being off world meant he didn't have to choose between her and Sarah. It took the choice out of his hands.

Because he knew, deep down, that given the choice, he would want to spent time with Sarah. Samantha would always be there, but there were only a few precious months with which to share the joys of Sarah's pregnancy. He told himself he would have all the time in the world for Samantha once the baby was born.

Samantha threw her hands in the air in frustration. " You said this wouldn't change anything, " she complained. She knew she sounded like she was whining, but she didn't care. Goddamnit, it was _hard_, knowing Daniel was spending so much time with another woman – who was a beautiful ex to boot.

Daniel went to embrace her. Samantha stood there stiffly, refusing to return Daniel's hug. He wasn't going to get out of this one easily. " I don't want things to change, " he said softly, and the tone in his voice almost destroyed her resolve. It must be hard on him, she conceded – she knew he would rather it be here carrying his child. He was torn between two women, both of whom he wanted to be with for very different reasons. " I love you, Sam, but this is _really_ hard. I have so many claims on my time and I don't know how to handle it all. I don't want to let anyone down. "

" Well, you're definitely letting _me_ down, " Samantha admonished him sharply. " I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. "

Daniel stepped away from her, a shocked, hurt look on his face. " Is that an ultimatum? " he asked.

" I don't know. I only know I can't keep doing this. I know you have your obligations – "

" They're not obligations, Sam, " Daniel cut in, quietly but decisively. He just wanted to clarify, like he clarified with anyone who asked, that he didn't consider his relationship with Sarah to be one of 'duty', but to Samantha, it was a defence of his negligence of her.

" Whatever, " she said dismissively, ignoring the hurt look on his face. He couldn't continue to play both sides without one of them getting pissed off. " I just know I can't keep going on like this. Either commit to me, or… " he voice trailled off.

Daniel looked at her sharply. " Or what? " he demanded.

" Or I might have to rethink this relationship because I can't keep doing this, " Samantha said. " Daniel, everytime I get back, I ask where you are – and you're with _her_. Everytime I'm with you, you talk about _her_. I shouldn't have to put up with it – and I won't put up with it. " She sighed. " Look, I have a mission tomorrow, I'll be a week or so. Then I'll insist that Hammond gives me some time off and we get work through it. " It was a piecemeal solution, and they both knew it – if she really wanted, she could get out of this mission, but it was an important mission, something she'd been working towards for a long time, and she didn't want someone else to get the credit for it at the last minute.

And given how jacked off she was at Daniel right now, she could do with some time away from him. And maybe with all that time on his hands, Daniel would think about what he wanted – Samantha or Sarah. Samantha was confident she would be the one he'd choose when he really got down to it. Come to think about it, maybe a few weeks apart could be a good things – give Daniel some time to get some clarity. Samantha told herself that, anyway.

It was clear Daniel wasn't happy with this solution, but he could see from the look in Samantha's eyes and her body posture that she wasn't going to budge – she was determined to go on this mission. For a moment, he felt a flash of irritation. They both knew that Hammond would let her bail if she wanted, but she wanted the credit for this mission. Daniel knew he was being unreasonable, but part of him felt that Samantha had made her priorities clear – her work was more important then their relationship.

But then, she had made that clear when she had intimated in a hundred different ways that she didn't want children. She didn't have a problem with them, she just didn't want that responsibility. Clearly, her work came before everything else.

Including Daniel.

" Fine, I'll see you when you get back then, " Daniel said stiffly. He wanted her to stay, he wanted to work on their disintegrating relationship, but he was too proud to say so. She had made her choice, he wasn't going to beg.

" Fine, " Samantha echoed Daniel's sentiment. She had no right to expect him to ask her to stay, of course, but she was disappointed that he hadn't. Clearly, he was quite happy to spent the next few weeks with Sarah. " I'll see you then. "

Daniel found life without Samantha wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. This was the longest they'd been separated since they'd gotten together, and he found it was easier then he had expected – easier, and more peaceful. She wasn't around to nag him because he couldn't spent much time with her, or he was distracted.

He missed her, of course, More specifically, he missed the first two months they'd been together, before they'd found out about Sarah's pregnancy. But with her being offworld, he could concentrate on Sarah.

Things would be different once the baby was born, he told himself. He knew he was allowing himself to become too involved with Sarah. He justified that this was the time she really needed him – and Samantha had always made a great show of how she could look after herself. Daniel had never forgotten how Samantha had taken after a Mongolian-esque chieftain – and won.

No, Major Samantha Carter could take care of herself, she had made that plenty clear. And Sarah was so grateful to have him around, even if he wasn't her partner in the true sense of the word. She was grateful and sympathetic and did a lot to soothe his wounded ego over the way Samantha had treated him.

" She's so obsessed with her work, " he had complained more then once. " I thought I could change that, but – "

" People like that don't change, " Sarah told him. " I guess we all have our priorities, and she'd made hers. "

" She doesn't understand that the program will go on without us, but my child won't be the same if I'm not there for them. She _knows_ what it was like for me, growing up without my parents. " And in Daniel's case he'd been orphaned – he had always taken some consolation in the fact his parents weren't there because they were dead, and not because they just didn't give a damn. Like hell he would be one of those parents who didn't give a damn.

" Honestly, I know that you guys love each other, but I never really saw you two as all that compatible, " Sarah admitted.

" You don't know her, " Daniel defended his girlfriend automatically, although he knew his voice sounded hollow. The more time he spent with Sarah, the more he was aware of the great camaraderie they shared – something that had been sorely missing in his relationship with Samantha since they'd found out about Sarah's pregnancy.

Lately, he'd found himself thinking about his relationship with Sarah all those years ago. They'd gotten along so well, they shared the same passions and intellect. He had loved Sha're and he loved Samantha, but he couldn't deny that he'd connected the best with Sarah, they were so alike.

Mostly he regretted that he'd let his work come between them – like Samantha was doing now. He wished he'd known her then as he was now – more mellow, more open to commitment.

" Whatcha thinking about? " Sarah asked, sensing Daniel's moodiness. When you spent as much time with a person as she did with Daniel you grew accustomed to their moods. Often Sarah had pondered how much Daniel had changed since they'd been together – he'd become a lot more mellow. The Daniel Jackson she had dated would have completely neglected her pregnancy in much the same way he had completely neglected their relationship, which had made her break it off with him.

Sarah doubted she would have to break it off with Daniel these days. She often wished she had known Daniel then as he was now. They were so compatible, everyone had said they made a perfect couple – except for the whole workaholic thing. But Daniel had proven over and over that he could be there for her – and he would. She only regretted that he was so hung up on Samantha, who seemed blind to his love for her. They were so incompatible.

He should be with someone like her.

Daniel smiled sheepishly. " I was just think about how much I've changed since you and I were together, " he admitted. " I guess I can kind of related to Sam that she feels compelled to work – that was me to the hilt. "

Sarah reached out to touch his arm reassuringly. " But you've changed, Danny, and she hasn't. That's the difference. "

Daniel looked away from Sarah, suddenly very aware of the warm pressure of her hand on his arm. " She just needs time, " he whispered hollowly.

" It's been two months already, " Sarah pointed out. Four months since they'd slept together and two months since Samantha and Daniel had found out about the pregnancy – you'd think she could have gotten used to it by now, or at least be trying harder. Sarah was suddenly very irritated at Samantha for not being more supportive of Daniel. He deserved more then what she was giving him. After all, it was hardly his fault he was in this position.

" I should have made you use a condom, " she said absently.

Daniel turned his head sharply to look her in the eyes at this. " Sorry? " he asked incredulously.

" I should have made you use a condom, " she repeated. " I wasn't thinking… and look where we are because of it. "

Now it was Daniel's turn to touch Sarah reassuringly. " It's not your fault, " he told her. " If anything, it's mine… you were hardly in the best state of mind that night. I shouldn't even have… " he trailled off, embarrassed.

" You think you took advantage of me? " Sarah asked, and Daniel turned his head away, blushing. " Danny, believe me, you didn't take advantage of me… you made me feel… alive again. You were so… after I tried to kill you – "

" That was Osiris, " Daniel cut in.

Sarah smiled. " That's exactly my point. You never blamed me for what Osiris did. I always loved you for it, even when it was controlling me. I wanted to be with you that night because of that. "

Impulsively, Daniel leaned over to kiss Sarah on the cheek. " Thanks, " he said.

Sarah looked surprised. " For what? " she asked.

" For being you. "

Sarah chuckled intimately. " Yeah, I don't know who else I'd rather be in this position with, " she said ruefully. Suddenly she was very aware of her condition, and she felt bloated and unfeminine.

Daniel sensed Sarah's thoughts, like he had grown adept at in the last two months. He was suddenly very aware of how sexy she was – even pregnant, maybe _because_ she was pregnant. She had that pregnant glow about her, and besides that, there was something sensual about being with a woman who was carrying your child – a turn-on. " You're gorgeous, " he said out loud, then blushed when he realised he'd said it out loud.

" I am not, you're just trying to make me feel better, " Sarah scoffed. " I'm fat and my ankles are swollen and – "

Sarah's words were cut off by Daniel's mouth on hers. It started as a closed-mouth kiss but it didn't lack for passion. Instinctively, Sarah groaned and opened her mouth, fusing her tongue with Daniel's. Reaching for her, Daniel drew Sarah close to him with one hand around her back and pressed his free hand on her swollen stomach. Oh, God this felt so right. Daniel knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew he'd regret it in the morning, but right now he didn't care. right now he wanted to be with Sarah.

Tentatively, Sarah pushed away. " What are you doing? " she asked Daniel.

" I don't know, " Daniel admitted. " It felt right. "

" What about Samantha? "

" I don't know, " Daniel said again, his head dropping in shame. " I'm sorry Sarah, I shouldn't have – "

" It's OK, I wanted you to, " Sarah admitted.

" I'm so confused, " Daniel said.

Sarah kissed him. Daniel kissed her back. God it felt so good. " Does that help? " Sarah asked when she broke off the kiss.

" Uh-huh, " Daniel said, moving in for a third kiss. Soon they were making out. Daniel's hands moved to the top of Sarah's maternity shirt, undoing the buttons, exposing her skin. " So beautiful, " he murmured as he kissed her bare skin.

Sarah groaned as Daniel's mouth made contact with her skin. She had always desired Daniel, and had kept her desires in check because of Samantha. But her urges had been getting stronger and stronger lately, and right now she didn't care what the consequences were – she wanted Daniel to make love to her. And he didn't exactly seem adverse to that.

Soon they were naked on the couch with Sarah sitting on Daniel's lap, her back against his chest, his hands on her stomach. " You are such a fucking turn-on, " he said gutturally, the most turned on he had been in two months. He slipped a finger inside her and was instantly further turned on by how wet she was. " You want this, baby, don't you? " he whispered in her ear.

Sarah groaned at the sensation of his fingers. " Get inside me, baby, " she begged. Daniel was only too happy to oblige. Reluctantly abandoning her stomach to hold onto her hips, Daniel pulled her down to penetrate her, groaning in bliss as he entered her, forgetting that anything else existed…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

A week later, Samantha got back, and to her delight, Daniel was actually there. She smiled when she was told he had been waiting at the base for her for the last three days. Maybe these three weeks away had really got him thinking. Maybe he was trying to change, make her his first priority.

He was waiting for her in her quarters. When she saw him she realised how much she had missed him. She had tried to keep herself busy, not to think about him, but deep down, she had always been thinking about him.

She ran into his arms, hugging him tightly. " I'm sorry I was so mean before I left, " she said. " I don't want to fight like that again. "

After a few seconds she realised Daniel was stiff against her, where normally he was warm and embraceable. She pushed away from him slightly, looking into his face. He looked troubled. " What wrong? " she asked, concerned.

" I slept with Sarah, " he blurted out. The incident had been troubling him since he'd woken up with Sarah in his arms after a steamy night together. God, she had been so hot for him – and he'd been hot for her. It had been so incredibly right at the time, but in the morning…

Samantha's brow winkled in confusion. " I know, " she said dryly, " that's how she got pregnant. "

" No, you don't understand – I slept with Sarah last week, " Daniel said in a pained voice. A whole week for his conscience to be eating him alive. There were days Daniel could have sworn he felt cramps of guilt racking his body. In fact, everyone at the Stargate Command noticed it, but they chalked it up to him missing Samantha. No-one thought him capable of infidelity.

" I don't understand, " Samantha said, her voice becoming slightly hysterical. " What do you mean, _you slept with Sarah? _" Like everyone who knew him, she thought Daniel incapable of cheating. Hell, even Hathor had had to use a pretty powerful drug to get him to do the deed with her.

" I MEAN I FUCKED HER! " Daniel yelled, suddenly irritated that Samantha wasn't understanding – or refusal to understand. " How bluntly do I have to put it? I cheated on you. With Sarah. Last week. "

Rage filled Samantha's vision as she pictured Daniel and Sarah in bed together. She _knew_ it, she knew there was something happening between them. She should never have allowed them to spend so much time together.

Daniel. And. Sarah. They had slept together. He had cheated on her.

With a cry of anguish, she lunged at Daniel like a fury. Daniel barely saw it coming before Samantha had pinned him to the floor, fists flying. It was only a pity the airforce regulated nail length or she would have scratched his wandering eyes out. As it was she landed an impressive punch on his nose, and took a great sense of satisfaction out of hearing the sound of bone cracking and his howl of pain. " You… _BASTARD!_ " she screamed. " How… could… you… do… this…to…me? "With every word she drew another ragged breath. She could feel the tears starting in her throat, but she refused to give Daniel to satisfaction of seeing her cry. Instead, she focused on her rage. She wanted him to be hurting as much as she was, although she doubted that was possible.

After a few minutes, the guards heard the ruckus coming from Major Carter's quarters and went to investigated, thinking someone was being murdered. And the scene the came across wasn't fair from the truth. Daniel wasn't a bad match for Samantha in normal circumstances, but she had white-hot rage on her side, and he couldn't complete with that.

It took two guards to pull Samantha off Daniel, who by now was a bruised, bleeding mess with a broken nose. " I hope that hurts, you cheating bastard! " Samantha screamed, struggling to get free from the hold the two guards had on her so she could get in another slug.

Janet Fraiser followed the guards in and was shocked to see the damage Samantha had inflicted to Daniel's body – particularly to his face. It didn't take a genius to see she'd broken his nose. The Doctor in her which strove to heal people was at odds with the part of her who was Samantha's friend. She had heard enough of the conversation to know that Daniel had cheated on Samantha – presumably with Sarah, he had been spending so much time with her lately.

After a few seconds internal debate, the Doctor in Janet won, although she was less then compassionate about the pain he was in. " I don't want to give you any painkillers until I've set the bone, " she said, half telling the truth. That was part of it, the other part being that she wasn't particularly sympathetic towards the pain Daniel was in right now.

And he was in a lot of pain. Apart from his nose, she had knocked out a tooth from a killer punch to the jaw (_that_ didn't seem to be broken, thankgod, and the tooth came out clearly, but it would be hurting for weeks), torn out his hair in places and delivered a dozen bruising punches to his face and upper body. As much as he wanted to be a man about it, he couldn't help but wincing whenever Janet touched him. He noticed she was hardly her usual genial self whenever she touched a sore spot.

" Excuse me if I don't have a lot of sympathy for you right now, " Janet said coolly.

" I swear, I never meant for this to happen, " Daniel said.

" What, you were both naked and she fell on top of you? " Janet asked sarcastically. That excuse had never gone down with Janet well when her ex-husband had used it, it certainly wasn't going to work coming from Daniel.

Daniel cringed, both from the sharpness of Janet's words and the pain when she touched his broken nose. " We've been having problems, " he admitted. " We had a fight before she left and Sarah was sympathetic. I didn't plan for it to happen, it just did, " he finished helplessly.

Janet wanted to slug him herself, but his words about Samantha rang true for her. She could be very career-oriented. Janet had always known her determination not to have children would end up being an issue for her and Daniel – and in had become an issue in the form of Sarah. And it was always a bad idea to leave for a few weeks on a fight – especially in their line of work. A person might not come back… Janet still remembered when Daniel had died. That had taught her the value of telling people how she felt, when she felt it, none of this bottling things up and holding grudges. So she could sympathise just a little with Daniel for the way Samantha had left things.

" I'm not excusing what you did, " Janet started, making it clear that there was no excuse for cheating, only occasionally mitigating circumstances. " But I will agree that sometimes Sam can be a little… committed to her career. She shouldn't have left on the outs with you. But that doesn't excuse you cheating on her. "

" Don't you think I'd take it back if I could? " Daniel asked, and the tone of anguish in his voice was impossible for Janet to resist. " It was one time, Jan, one stupid time, and I've regretted it ever since. "

Janet didn't doubt that. Daniel might slip up once, but being a philanderer wasn't in his nature. She, like every woman on the base, had been touched and a little jealous of his dogged loyalty to Sha're for two and a half years from their separation to her death. Even Hathor, who modelled herself on the Goddess of Love, had needed to drug Daniel to get him to sleep with her. No, Janet didn't doubt that Daniel wouldn't be making the same mistake twice. But still…

" She's my friend, Daniel, I have to do what's best for her. "

" You think I'm not good enough for her? " Daniel asked mournfully, and Janet couldn't confirm that. Daniel was plenty good enough for Samantha. But he had broken her heart about as badly as she had broken his nose.

" Give it some time, " Janet suggested. " I'll talk to her in a few days, but I'm telling you now, I'm not going to talk her _into_ anything. If she doesn't want to give you a second chance – "

" I know, thankyou, " Daniel said gratefully. Anything was better then nothing, and besides, Janet had too much integrity to talk someone into something the didn't want. So did Samantha. It was why he loved them – Janet as a friend, Samantha as a girlfriend – and a future wife.

" In the meantime, I think it's best if you stay off the base for a few days, " Janet suggested. " Hammond will probably be furious with you, and Sam will be out to kill you – and I mean that literally. You need to give her some time to cool off. Then I'll talk to her. "

Daniel nodded in agreement. Right now, he was a little scared of Samantha. He'd seen her angry side before, but never towards him, and never to that degree, and it had been his intention to stay out of her way for a few days. " Tell her I love her? " he begged Janet, his blue eyes reflecting the pain in both his body and his heart.

Janet nodded. " I'll give you some painkillers, too – you'll be needing them. It will take a while for those injuries to heal. "

Daniel grimaced. " I know, " he said, and Janet wasn't sure if he was referring to his body, his ego or his heart.

He didn't know what compelled him to ask Sarah over (he would have gone to her place if he'd been in any condition to drive after the much-welcomed painkillers started to kick in), after all, it was her involvement with her that had gotten him into this mess, but he wanted to see her for a reason he couldn't explain to himself. He knew there would be no hope of reconciliation with Samantha if she found out he'd been with Sarah so soon after, but he figured that chance was pretty slim, and he wanted company. He wanted _Sarah's_ company.

" Ohmigod, what happened to you? " Sarah asked when she saw Daniel's bruised, swollen face. The intervening hours hadn't been kind to his roughed-up faced. He knew he looked terrible. Instinctively, she went to hug Daniel, and he was feeling too heartsore to push her away.

" Come in, " Daniel said. " I could do with some company. "

Sarah stepped inside, her walk a little waddled to compensate for her middle-heaviness. She had very vivid memories of the last time she was here. She blushed at those memories, and the memories of the night a week before. There was no denying she and Daniel had some powerful chemistry.

Over an hour, and a lot of gentle prodding, Daniel told Sarah what had happened. " And she _broke _your _nose_? " Sarah asked incredulously. " I would have settled for a few names. "

" Yeah, she called me those, too. " Daniel admitted sadly.

" I'm sorry, " Sarah said. " This is my fault. I should have made you stop. "

" Hey, I kissed you, I'm not going to dump the blame on you, " Daniel said.

" You're determined to take the blame for things we did together, aren't you, Danny? " Sarah asked. " That's not going to get Samantha back. I give you permission to tell her I seduced, I plied you with alcohol until you didn't know what you were doing. "

" I can't do that to you, Sarah, " Daniel said, although he was touched by her offer. " I made the choice, I could have stopped if I wanted to – I'll take anything she sees fit to dish out. "

Sarah touched his face gently so she wouldn't hurt him. " She had no right to do this, " she said, the softness of her voice not masking the vehemence in it. " She has some blame in this, too. She drove you away. If she hadn't been so obsessed with work, so insecure about the baby – "

" Please, " Daniel begged, not wanting to hear anything bad about Samantha – it had been what had made him cheat on her in the first place.

Sarah kept her peace. If Daniel wanted to see only the best in Samantha, that was his problem. " But I'm your friend, Danny, I'll always be here if you need me. Like you've been here for me. "

" Thanks, " Daniel replied, and as deep shit as he was in right now, somehow things seemed a little easier knowing he had Sarah to count on.

Janet tried to talk to Samantha, she really did. But Samantha was determined not to forgive Daniel. As far as she was concerned, what he had done was unforgivable. Maybe if it had been someone else, she could have gotten over that – but for him to sleep with Sarah, that was beyond her ability to forgive.

" He loves you, Sam, and he knows he hurt you. He wouldn't do it again, " Janet argued Daniel's case.

" If you see so many good qualities in him, why don't _you_ date him, " Samantha retorted. " That is, if he can keep his pants on. " Though deep down Samantha knew Daniel wasn't the philandering type, she still couldn't get over the thought of him and Sarah together. Sarah, of all people, knowing how she felt about her! Clearly, he had no respect for her. And this was only the first of years to come with Daniel's relationship with the beautiful woman, that Samantha was sure of. No, she was better off to call things off now, then later, when her heartbreak would be even greater.

So she told herself.

Janet knew Samantha was hurting. And she knew how stubborn her friend could be. It would be just like Samantha to deprive herself of the kind of love that only comes along once in a lifetime because she thought she was in the right. And maybe she was, to some degree. Daniel shouldn't have slept with Sarah, there was no excusing that. But if Samantha didn't forgive him for it, then chances were, she was going to regret it. Not now, maybe not for a while, but she would eventually regret it.

But Samantha's mind was made up. And it stayed made up when Daniel came to see her a few days later to beg for forgiveness. She'd done a real number on him, she realised with a small sense of satisfaction. The swelling was starting to go down and the bruises starting to fade, but he still looked terrible. Served him right. Samantha would bet money on Sarah no longer finding Daniel attractive.

Not that she cared, of course.

" I'm sorry, " was the first thing he said when he saw her. He had been racking his brain for days, trying to work out what to say to her, and in the end, those had been the only two that had come to mind. " I never meant to hurt you, Sam. I was so confused and – "

" And you're thinking clearly now? " Samantha asked sharply.

" Yes. I swear to you, it'll never happen again. "

" I seem to recall you saying something similar before, " she reminded him.

Daniel cringed, feeling very, very small. He was still having trouble forgiving himself for the changeroom thing. It didn't seem appropriate to point out he hadn't done _that_ again, at the moment it seemed like semantics. He had hurt her badly twice now, and both times he truly hadn't meant to.

" I'm sorry, " he said again, helplessly.

" Until you do something selfish again, " Samantha tacked on.

Daniel's eyes went wide at the thought of putting both of them through this hell again, for whatever reason, whatever circumstances. " I would never… " he said, trailing off. He didn't know what to say. He could he reassure he that he would never do something like this again? He had to admit, given his track record, it wasn't the most convincing argument.

" And what about Sarah? " Samantha added during Daniel's silence.

" What about her? "

" Don't play dumb with me, Daniel Jackson. What are you going to do about her? Is she still going to be in your life? "

" Of course she is, Sam, " Daniel said, his brows knotted in confusion. He would walk over hot coals to prove his devotion to her, but she couldn't ask him to give up his child. He wouldn't. " She's having my _baby_. Am I just supposed to give that up? "

" Well, you've proven you can't be trusted around her, " Samantha said stiffly. " And that's _Major Carter_ to you. "

She had drawn the line in two ways ; firstly, by stating he couldn't be trusted to be alone with Sarah, so it was Sarah or Samantha, and secondly by insisting he call her by her military rank. Daniel wasn't sure if the military rank thing still applied to him, but regardless, he had never called her Major – or Captain – and he wasn't about to start now. " I won't stop seeing Sarah, " he said quietly, firmly.

It broke Samantha's heart, although she would never let him see it. Clearly, he had made his decision – he wouldn't give up Sarah. So she would force him to give up her. " Fine, " she spat. " Go back to your whore then. But you and I are over. "

" Please, Sam – " Daniel begged.

" Major Carter, " she corrected icily.

" Sam, don't do this, please, " Daniel begged, ignoring her demand that she address him by her military rank. " I love you. I need you. "

" You should have thought about that before you fucked her, " Samantha replied coolly. She reached for her gun when Daniel took a step towards her, and although she had no intention of using it on him, the deadly look in her eyes made him stop dead in his tracks. " From now on, you and I are just colleagues, " she informed him coldly. If she didn't keep herself aloof, she might very well throw herself into his arms and forgive him. " I expect you to keep your distance unless absolutely necessary. "

" Sam – " Daniel started, tears forming in his eyes, his words halted when Samantha left the room. He dropped to his knees, feelings his legs wouldn't support him anymore, and he felt the tears running down his face.

Samantha had left him. She wouldn't forgive him. Daniel hadn't realised how much he was relying on Samantha's forgiveness until now, when it was apparent it wouldn't be his. She hated him. She wouldn't forgive him. She wanted nothing more to do with him.

Like she always was, Sarah was there to give him comfort and company. It pained her to see Daniel going through this – if Samantha couldn't see what she had, then she was a fool of the first order. " She'll get over it, she just needs some more time, " Sarah said optimistically.

" You don't know her, " Daniel replied. " The way she looked at me… she hates me. She doesn't want anything to do with me. When Sam gets like that, she doesn't get over it. "

" Well then for what it's worth, she's a fool. And she doesn't deserve you. "

Daniel blew his nose. " Thanks. But it's not worth much, " he added sadly.

Sarah sighed and drew Daniel into her arms in a protective hug. It wasn't fair that Samantha should be so unforgiving over one little slip-up. If she had been more attentive and less career-oriented, he wouldn't have slipped up in the first place. She offered to talk to Samantha herself, but Daniel vetoed that vehemently. " She won't believe you, it'll just make her more angry, " he said.

" Well then she's unreasonable as well as a fool, " Sarah declared, although she could see her words weren't having much of an effect on Daniel. His heart was broken, and all it would take to fix it was time. Sarah only hoped that time eventually _would_ fix it.

Thankgod, as the weeks went by, Daniel got over Samantha. After a week, he was reminded of the fact for all the scale of their love, they had only been together for four months – and after six years of dogged pursuing on his part. The fact was, Samantha had _always_ been maddeningly aloof, she had always been reluctant to get involved with someone, to risk her heart. Daniel had a feeling it had something to do with Jonas Hanson, the man she had been engaged to one, who had gone crazy offworld and declared himself a God. Whatever it was, she had always been aloof, always been reluctant to get involved, always been quick to withdraw from a relationship at the first sign of trouble.

Like she had withdrawn from her relationship with Daniel over one little slip-up. Oh, for sure, he knew infidelity was a pretty big thing, but he also knew a lot of women would be a lot more forgiving. But not Samantha. Samantha wouldn't forgive. Samantha _couldn't_ forgive. Samantha had been a lot more forgiving when they had been just friends – she had less of her heart to risk then – and hopefully, in time, they could be friends again. That was the best Daniel could hope for and, as the days went on, he became less and less hung up on the idea of ending up as more then friends with Samantha again. They had been down their road, and it had been fraught with difficulties. By comparison, being friends seemed like a walk in the park. And God knew, with his new responsibilities, Daniel had better things to do with his time and emotions then waste them on a troubled relationship.

It helped having Sarah around all the time. With Samantha being so cold to him – bordering on antagonistic – it was much more pleasant to be somewhere he was actually wanted – even needed, so he spent most of his time at Sarah's apartment now, even spending most of his nights there – in the spare room. Funnily enough, knowing this made Samantha even more antagonistic towards Daniel, although she denied being jealous.

Despite Sarah's swelling stomach which was making agility more and more elusive, she was great to have around. She was fun, intelligent, and they had a lot in common. Even though he thought _he_ should be taking care of _her_, she always managed to sense his moods and worked herself around them. Sometimes they stayed up til the early hours of the morning talking, sometimes she helped him with his research – she was a much better research partner then Samantha, he often thought with less and less guilt at such a disloyalty – sometimes they watched DVDs and played board games.

And all the time they went to great lengths to dance around the issue of their growing attraction and affection for one another. Daniel didn't want to get involved with anyone – particularly not Sarah, and all the complications that would bring – until he knew he was over Samantha. And Sarah didn't want to get involved with Daniel – and all the complications that would bring – while there was any lingering doubt that he was harbouring feelings for Samantha. She loved Daniel, but she wasn't going to be his rebound girl.

So the two of them ignored their growing feelings for each other and continued to go on as if nothing was happening. They continued to convince themselves that they were just friends, until the day when it became too much.

Daniel had returned from a mission – he hadn't gone on one since he'd found out Sarah was pregnant, but the initial report had shown remnants of an ancient civilisation that Hammond felt only Daniel's expertise was fit to study – having been preoccupied with Sarah the entire time. The mission made him very aware of his feelings for her – a man couldn't be preoccupied with a woman (and a woman bloated from a five-months-along pregnancy, at that!) when surrounded by his passion, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, if he wasn't in love with her.

He couldn't wait to get back to her, and was visibly antsy at the debriefing until Hammond ordered him to go home and come back when he was ready to get with the program. Privately, Hammond had some idea of what was going on, but he decided not to mention it to anyone – especially not Major Carter, who had been keeping her broken heart behind her iron exterior. But Hammond knew she was heartbroken. He had hoped Daniel and Samantha might be able to reconcile, but that didn't look like it was going to happen now. _Pity_.

Daniel got to Sarah's apartment to find her just having come out of the shower, smelling of soap and shampoo, her body wrapped up in a beautiful silk robe Daniel had given her. She loved it and wore it all the time, saying it was hard not to feel bloated when wrapped in silk.

She looked beautiful. She kept saying she was ugly and bloated, but she had never looked more beautiful to Daniel. Maybe it was because of, and not in spite of, the fact she was carrying his child, but she had never looked so hot.

" Danny? " Sarah asked hesitantly, seeing the searching look in his eyes. " What's up? Did something happen on the mission? "

" You could say that, " he murmured, closing the gap between him and Sarah, dropping to his knees in front of her so he was facing her swollen stomach. Wordlessly, he pulled at the sash that tied the robe together and it came apart, exposing her naked body.

" Danny…? " Sarah asked, obviously surprised by Daniel's sudden attention, although hardly disappointed.

" You're beautiful, " he murmured, kissing and stroking her stomach. " So beautiful… I can't believe it's taken me this long… "

" Danny! " Sarah gasped when Daniel moved his mouth lower. She groaned when Daniel started to work his magic. Her hands went to the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair. " Daniel… " she groaned his name.

Daniel paused for a moment to look up, grinning impishly. " You want me to stop? " he asked.

" Don't tease, " Sarah said. " But let me get on the bed. " She had very fond memories of Daniel going down on her, and she doubted her legs would hold under the delicious onslaught.

Daniel stood up and effortlessly scooped her into his arms and carried her over to her bed – a bed he had never shared with her. Well, that was going to change tonight. Once he had laid Sarah out on the bed, he went back to what he had started. Soon he had Sarah writhing and moaning under his touch. He felt himself becoming hard from the taste of her.

" DANIEL! " Sarah screamed as she climaxed hard, arching her back involuntarily and then slumping back down onto the bed. Daniel crawled next to her and kissed her, smiling.

Panting, Sarah returned the kiss, and her wandering hands confirmed his own arousal. She had been denying her attraction to Daniel for months now, and now the dam was broken and she was overflowing with horniness. " Take your pants off, " she ordered gutturally.

He looked at her, adoration and respect in his eyes. " You sure? " he asked, searching her eyes for any hesitation. " You don't have to do this just to return the favour. "

" I know. I want to, " Sarah replied, her eyes sparkling with adoration. " Now take your pants off. And your shirt, too, " she added impishly.

" If the lady insists… " Daniel said, kissing her as he fumbled with his pants, finally managing to slide them off. " You're beautiful, Sarah, " he said, his eyes sweeping over her naked body.

She smirked. " You're biased, " she protested.

Daniel shrugged. " Nonetheless, you're still beautiful, " he said. He followed Sarah's lead when she turned onto her side, and pressed his chest against her back. He nuzzled the back of her neck, and she groaned. He positioned himself to penetrate her.

" Daniel… " she moaned when he entered her. She pushed her backside against him so he was completely buried inside her. Daniel groaned at the impact.

" Sarah, " he called her name over and over and he thrust in and out of her. " _Sarah! _"

Afterwards they lay together in bed, spooning. It was a position Sarah preferred – it made her feel uncomfortable to have her bulky stomach pushed up against something, especially when she was trying to enjoy sex. " I can't believe it took me so long, " Daniel murmured, stroking Sarah's hair and kissing her neck intermittently.

Sarah squirmed a little. " What was that about? " he asked Daniel.

He kissed her neck. " I just made love to you, " he replied.

" I know that. I mean… what do you want from me? "

Daniel laughed. " I thought that was pretty obvious. I want you to be my girlfriend. I'm in love with you Sarah, " he said in a quiet voice, afraid of rejection.

Sarah turned so she was lying on her back, and Daniel repositioned himself to lean on his elbow so they could make eye contact. " What about Samantha? " she couldn't help but asking. She had been wanting Daniel to fall in love with her for months, but she didn't want it just because he couldn't have Samantha.

Daniel sighed. He knew this was coming, although it didn't make it any easier. " I still love her, if that's what you mean, " he said. " Like I love Sha're. But I'm not _in love_ with her. I'm over her. "

Sarah smiled. She knew absolutely from the sincerity in Daniel's voice that he was telling the truth. " I've been wanting you to say that for ages, " she admitted shyly. " I didn't want to get hurt. I don't want to be your rebound girl… or your occasional lover. I don't want our child growing up thinking it's perfectly normal for two people to sleep together between relationships with other people. "

Daniel reached out to stroke Sarah's hair, smiling at her adoringly. " I love you, Sarah Gardner, " he said. " I want to be with you, and only you. "

Sarah turned back on her side and Daniel back on his so they were in their former position, hugging. " I love you, Daniel, " she murmured, and they drifted off to sleep, holding each other tightly.

" You look… perky, " Janet noted two days later when Daniel finally showed up for work. " Do I want to know where you've been? "

" Probably not, " Daniel said cheerfully, and Janet could guess what he meant by _that_.

He had finally worked out the jewel he had waiting for him to get over Samantha. And, oh boy, did he look like he'd gotten over Samantha.

Janet contemplated telling Samantha about it, but decided it was best to hold her tongue for the time being. Samantha was clearly struggling to deal with Daniel's betrayal, despite the aloof front she put up. That was just Samantha's style, and Janet knew her better then that. She knew Samantha was hurting, and she knew Samantha wouldn't appreciate knowing Daniel was shacked up with another woman – particularly when that woman was Sarah Gardner.

The weeks went by. Samantha couldn't help but notice Daniel's general happiness, and that he'd stopped trying to get back with her. That had wounded her ego almost as much as it had wounded her heart. Like she'd always expected Daniel to be there when she wanted him, she had always expected him to be there, waiting to be forgiven until the day came that she did forgive him. She had never expected that day to come, of course, but she had always expected him to be there.

And now that he wasn't, she realised she had forgiven him. She had forgiven him a long time ago, not long after she'd told him it was over. She had just had trouble forgetting it. She had nightmares about it, visions in which Daniel and Sarah were together – in bed, in his car, in his quarters, in all manner of places according to Samantha's fertile imagination – that she couldn't forget. She had thought she'd never get over it.

And now that he seemed to have gotten over her, she had gotten over his betrayal. She wanted him back.

_Well, there's no help for it_, Samantha told herself grimly. _I'll have to grovel a little. Just a little. _She wouldn't let Daniel think he'd won, of course, just that she'd changed her mind. He might appear to be over her, but they had a history that went way back, and Samantha would bet that he'd jump at the chance to get back with her. After all, they'd had a great thing going and he'd been devastated when she'd told him it was over.

She made up her mind to drop by his apartment as soon as she was able. She only hoped he wasn't with Sarah, like he seemed to be so much these days. At least she could console herself with the fact Sarah was now six months pregnant – she'd look like a beached whale, no way would he find her attractive. Certainly not compared to Samantha. Samantha blushed when she remembered some of the steamy nights she and Daniel had shared, and felt a familiar tingle in her groin. She imagined make-up sex with Daniel would be absolutely explosive.

As soon as she was given permission to go, Samantha left the underground building. She stopped to have a shower at the compound, but didn't bother to go home first to change – she didn't keep civilian clothes at the base, so Daniel would have to settle for her BDUs. With any luck, she wouldn't be wearing them for long anyway.

Daniel had cranked the music up because the neighbours preferred that to the noise he and Sarah made. He'd been thinking more and more about getting an actual house – it made more sense then him and Sarah maintaining separate places, and they'd need the extra space when the baby came.

Thinking about his child, Daniel automatically slid his hands up Sarah's body from where he was holding her by her hips to her stomach. He never got tired of touching her there. Grunting, he thrust deeply into her from behind and she screamed with delight. It had taken him a while to realise he wasn't hurting her or the baby but now he loved her enthusiastic reactions.

Samantha didn't hear the noise until she was in Daniel's bedroom, partly because of the music and partly because she was lost in her fantasies. " Daniel, I – " she started, walking into Daniel's room, to be greeted by a very naked Daniel and a very naked Sarah having sex without a care in the world.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four 

For a split second, all Samantha could do was stare at Daniel and Sarah. Of all the things she'd imagined happening when she spoke to Daniel, this was definitely not one of them.

_Daniel...was…having…sex…with…Sarah_. And looking like he was enjoying it, for all she looked like a beached whale. Samantha's heart broke at the confrontation.

Daniel looked up to see Samantha and stopped dead. " Sam! " he yelled, partly in surprise, mostly in irritation. Of all the times for her to make her re-entry into his life – " Get out of this room _RIGHT NOW! _"

Frightened by the tone in his voice, Samantha quickly scurried out of the bedroom into the relative safety of the living area. Collapsing into the couch, her heart racing, she began to take stock of what she'd just seen.

So _this_ was why Daniel had been so happy lately, why he'd stopped trying to get back with her. He'd found a replacement. Samantha felt fury and disgust at the beached whale build up in her throat. She just knew Sarah had planned this from day one. She bet she'd even seduced Daniel so Samantha would be forced to break up with him. Samantha knew she was being unreasonable, knew Sarah had just taken advantage of a situation she hadn't created, but that didn't stop her heart from aching so badly she thought it would literally break in two.

In the bedroom, Daniel looked at Sarah sheepishly. " I swear, I had no idea she was coming over, " he said.

Sarah smiled forgivingly. " I figured that, " she said. Exes tend not to plan to walk in on you having sex. " What does she want? "

Daniel shrugged. " Beats me. We haven't exactly been on speaking terms since we broke up. She made it quite clear she only wanted to see him professionally – and that was a pretty big sacrifice, too, " he couldn't help but adding a little bitterly. What right to Samantha have to come back into his life now? She had made it quite clear they were finished. That had been _her _decision, not his.

Sarah touched his cheek gently. " Don't let it upset you, " she said quietly. " She's not worth it. "

After a few minutes, they were dressed and went out into the living area. Daniel slipped his hand through Sarah's in an obvious show of affection. Samantha didn't miss it, and neither did Sarah, although she let it go.

" What do you want, Major Carter? " Daniel asked coolly. " And how did you get into my apartment? "

Samantha blanched. She definitely hadn't expected this. " You should leave your spare key in a more original place if you don't want people letting themselves in, " she suggested, referring to the spare key on top of the doorframe – it was easier then starting off with the reason she was there, but now there was no help for it. " I wanted – I wanted – " she couldn't get the words out. She looked pointedly at Sarah. Having the beautiful woman at Daniel's side made it harder for Samantha to get the words out. " Does she have to be here? " she asked.

In response, Daniel slipped his arm around Sarah's waist and looked directly into Samantha's eyes. " She's my girlfriend, whatever you say to me I'll just tell her anyway, " he said, almost challenging.

_Girlfriend_. Samantha's heart sank. So they were together. " Didn't take you long, did it? " she snarled to mask her hurt.

Daniel raised his eyebrows. " You mean, after you dumped me? " he retorted. He turned to Sarah. " I don't want you to witness this, " he said quietly. Sarah nodded and returned to the bedroom after kissing Daniel gently on the lips. Samantha felt the sudden urge to rip them apart and scratch Sarah's eyes out.

After Sarah was gone, Daniel turned to face Samantha. " OK, talk, " he said. " If you don't mind, I was kind of in the middle of something. " He said that with just a little smugness. He took just the tiniest amount of pleasure in the way she flinched at his words. So he had hurt her, just a little. Maybe it would make up for how badly she'd broken his heart.

" I – I – I wanted to – tell you… " Samantha trailled off in the face of Daniel's expectant look. " I wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I acted over Sarah. I overreacted. "

" You think? " Daniel asked laconically. He was surprised how little he cared about her admission. Only a month ago he would have been doing cartwheels to hear the closest thing Samantha Carter had ever come to an apology.

" I was wrong and I'm sorry, " she said. " I came over hoping that – that we might be able to give it another go. "

" I would have thought that was quite obviously not a possibility, " Daniel pointed out.

Samantha's anger flared. " How long did you wait, anyway? A week two? And how can you possibly enjoy being in bed with that fat cow – "

Daniel responded with a heavy slap to the face that had Samantha reeling. " If I hear you talk about Sarah like that again, I'll break your neck, " Daniel said, his eyes flashing dangerously. Samantha shrank from him, scared of the devotion he had for Sarah – and his willingness and ability to hurt anyone who hurt her.

" I'm sorry, " she said in a small voice. She had never seen that side of Daniel before – she had certainly never seen it in defence of her. But then, she had always insisted she had taken care of herself.

She wondered if that had been a blow to his male ego. _Death by a thousand cuts_, she thought. She had certainly cut Daniel in a thousand little ways with her devotion to her work, her insistence that she could take care of herself, her jealousy of Sarah and her nagging that Daniel should stop seeing her.

" I'm sorry, " she said again, and she wasn't talking about calling Sarah a fat cow.

Daniel took a step away from Samantha, his anger subsiding. " It's too late, Sam, " he said, a little tired. " I've moved on. "

" But – the way you acted – you were devastated, " Samantha reminded him. " How can you move on like that in a month? "

" Because I did a lot of thinking, Sam, " Daniel snapped. " And I realised that our relationship wasn't as good as I remembered it being. Even before we found out about Sarah, you were so committed to your work. I just didn't think anything of it at the time because I was so in love with you. "

Samantha's heart fell. This wasn't how she'd imagined it at all. Daniel was supposed to be happy that she'd changed her mind. He was supposed to hug her, kiss her, carrying her to his room to make love with her… but Sarah was in his room right now, waiting for him to finish what they'd started once Samantha left. " Please, " she begged, hating herself for begging, hating Daniel for moving on so quickly, hating Sarah for taking advantage of the situation.

" I want you to go now, " Daniel said in an even voice. Blue eyes met blue eyes and he could relate to the pain Samantha was going through. But it was too late now. He loved Sarah and he was in love with her – he couldn't imagine giving that up.

Seeing Daniel's mind was made up, Samantha hurriedly left before she would start crying. She took some consolation in that her tears didn't start to fall until after she had shut the door behind her.

Daniel didn't care. Daniel had moved on. She had missed her chance. _What does he see in her? _she asked herself as she cried. Sure, she was pretty, with that lilting English accent, but she looked like a beached whale. For some reason Daniel could overlook that, or maybe he saw that as part of her appeal.

_Sex can't be too comfortable_, Samantha consoled herself. As big as she was, there could only be a few positions she enjoyed. She bet part of Daniel missed some of the imaginative positions they got into. Samantha Carter was _very_ limber and _very_ imaginative. He _had_ to miss that, just a little. Samantha couldn't help but remember some of the steamy night – and days – they'd spent together.

They had had some incredible chemistry. Jack had informed then that had been what had given them away ; if they had only managed to harness that energy Samantha and Daniel shared, they would have no more need for Naquada reactors.

That made her think… Daniel had always, _always_ been hot for her, from the day he had first laid eyes on her, even though he was determined to stay faithful to Sha're. And after she had died, he had pursued her with dogged determination… even if he was in love with someone else, that was only emotions, Samantha was sure whatever charms Sarah held for Daniel, she couldn't compete with Samantha in the bedroom. Especially not with her bloated figure.

No, Daniel might be in love with Sarah, but he still had to be attracted to Samantha. Red-hot chemistry like that didn't just go away.

She could get him back if she wanted to. Or at least, she could get him back into her bed. And after he was in her bed, she was sure she could get back into his heart.

With the same determination that had seen her become an Airforce Major and part of the Stargate Command, Samantha slowly began formulating a plan in her head. She would be with Daniel whenever the opportunity arose. She would remind him in a dozen different ways – subtle and obvious – of the chemistry they shared. She was sure Daniel and Sarah couldn't sleep together for much longer, she had to get too big soon. And she had fond and distinct memories of how virile Daniel was – a few weeks without sex (hell, a few days with Samantha putting the pressure on him) and he would start to crack.

Not once did it occur to Samantha that she was stealing a man away from a woman he was in love with – a woman who, in all fairness, needed him more then Samantha did. After all, all was fair in love and war – and she had decided she wasn't going to stand in the way of Daniel seeing Sarah for the sake of their child.

But only for the sake of their child. She would make it clear, once they were back together, that if he cheated on her again, then it would be over for good.

" What was that about? " Sarah asked Daniel after Samantha had left. Looking a little strung out, he had pulled Sarah into his arms, her back facing his chest, and starting rubbing her back. It made him feel better to be touching her – and right at this moment sex was the last thing on his mind – and she didn't exactly object.

" Sam wants to get back with me, " Daniel admitted in a low voice.

" What did you tell her? " Sarah asked in a small voice.

Daniel kissed the side of her neck. " I told her I was in love with you and to please leave, " he said.

Sarah was relieved. " How did she take it? "

" Not very well. But she won't do anything about it – the stalker ex isn't exactly her role – and maybe in time we might be friends again. "

" You'd like that, wouldn't you? " Sarah asked. Secure in Daniel's love for her, she didn't mind if he and Samantha ended up friends – so long as all they were was friends. One thing Sarah wouldn't tolerate from Daniel was infidelity.

" Yeah, " Daniel admitted. " She used to be my best friend, and I miss that. It would be nice if someday we could get past all this and be friends again. "

Sarah craned her neck awkwardly to kiss Daniel. " I love you so much, " she said.

" I love you too. " Privately, Daniel thought about the ring he had stashed away to give Sarah when the time was right. He had a strong feeling there would never be a right time while she was pregnant – she would never be able to think of it as 'romantic' when she weighed more then Daniel. But he knew he wanted to marry Sarah, and vowed to ask her when the time was right.

Two days later, Daniel came home to find Sarah in tears. For one terrifying moment he thought she'd miscarried, although he was pretty sure it was uncommon for women to miscarry this late in the pregnancy. There was no blood. That had to be a good thing.

" Baby, what's wrong? " he asked, momentarily terrified. " Is it the baby? "

Sarah shook her head through tears. " No, " she said, " not in that way. "

Daniel bit his lip. " What do you mean, 'not in that way'? " he asked. " Did you – did you do something? " he asked, the terror rising in his stomach again, although he didn't see who or why she would have had an abortion.

Sarah shook her head again. " I went to see a doctor, " she sobbed. " I've been having these…cramps. After sex. "

Now Daniel was worried and guilty. " Why didn't you tell me? " he asked.

" I didn't want to concern you. I thought it was nothing. But they started to get worse so I went to the doctor. He said – he said I've been too… _active_. "

Daniel knew exactly what she meant without it being spelled out. " You mean you shouldn't be having sex. "

Sarah nodded miserably. " And you thought I wouldn't take that well? " Sarah nodded even more miserably, refusing to make eye contact with Daniel. Gently he cupped her face in his hand and forced her head around so she was facing him. " You know I love you, don't you? " he asked. Sarah nodded. " And you know I would never do anything to hurt you or our child? " she nodded again. " So why do you think I won't respect that you can't have sex for the sake of you and our child? "

Sarah gave an unhappy sigh. " I personally know how virile you are, Daniel, " she pointed out unhappily. " You can't say giving up sex for three months will be easy. "

" I was faithful to Sha're for two and a half year, Sah, " Daniel reminded her, omitting the Hathor thing. He had long ago come to the conclusion that as she'd had to drug him, it didn't count. No-one counted it as sex when a woman was drugged and raped, he figured he was entitled to the same definition. " I think I can do three months. " But even as he said it, he had his doubts. He could hardly look at Sarah without being turned out, and knowing he couldn't have it made him want it even more. He may have been faithful to Sha're for two and a half years, but in that time, he'd seen her maybe half a dozen times. He didn't say so to Sarah, but he knew three months was going to be damn hard.

" What about head? " he asked with a sly grin.

" You would think of that, " Sarah said, rolling her eyes. Daniel didn't like to admit it, but he thought about sex as much as any man his age. Privately, she was relieved that he was being so supportive and blow-jobs seemed like a happy compromise. " I'll go down on you if you want. "

Now it was Daniel's turn to smile. " I actually meant _I'll_ go down on _you_, " he said. He was trying to keep his mind off his own sexual needs. " If you want me to, of course. "

Like Sarah had _ever_ turned down _that_ offer. She had never learned where he had learned his sexual talents (although she had always suspected one of his many foster mothers, he had made a few references to a particular hot one he'd had when he was sixteen) but God, she loved being on the receiving end of them. " I don't think I would ever not want that, " she said with a sly smile.

" It's settled then, " Daniel said, kissing her. " Let's go to bed. "

The truth was, though, it was hard for Daniel to spend so much time with Sarah and keep his hands to himself. It was funny, he had practiced abstinence – through choice in his fidelity to Sha're then through his pursuit of Samantha – for six and a half years, but once he'd started getting it regularly, he was having a terrible time going without. He thought of himself as an addict suffering from withdrawals.

Sarah couldn't help but notice how the lack of sex was affecting him, and she tried to help with hand and blow jobs, but the more time passed, the less effective a release it was. What he wanted more then anything in the world was to screw her brains out. He fantasised about it constantly, and found it harder and harder to be in close proximity to Sarah without having a violent urge to rip her clothes off and screw her brains out.

The violence of his desires trouble him deeply, reminded him of his first time with Samantha – something he tried very hard to forget. He knew Sarah wanted it, and that made it a whole lot harder. Janet had said that if a woman said no, then that was rape. It wasn't exactly the same thing – in this case, it was harder, knowing Sarah wanted it almost as badly as he did.

It got to a point where he started withdrawing from Sarah's company, spending more and more time at the base or his own apartment. He was beginning to seriously doubt his ability to keep his hands off Sarah so he decided the best thing to do was not to see her.

It didn't take long for Sarah to notice Daniel was avoiding her. She had seen it coming. He was acting more and more agitated, and she knew it was because he wasn't getting laid, and that he was trying to deal with it by not seeing her. In a way, she was kind of flattered that she had that effect on him. It was nice to know that, at almost seven months pregnant, Daniel still found her desirable.

But it didn't stop her from being troubled by Daniel's distance. He spoke to her over the phone almost every day, and came to every doctor's appointment and pre-natal class with her, but he rarely saw her privately. She tried not to be hurt, but she still was.

One day she arrived unannounced at his house to confront him. " You've been avoiding me, " she said.

Daniel's voice fell. He'd thought he was being discreet, but of course, Sarah knew him better then that. " I'm sorry, " he said.

She put her hands on her hips and tried to look angry. " Are you going to tell me why? " she asked.

" I don't want to hurt you, " he said in a small voice.

" You don't want to _hurt_ me? You think it doesn't hurt that you don't want to spend any time with me? " Sarah asked incredulously.

Daniel could already feel himself reacting to Sarah being so close. " I'm so goddamn hot for you, Sarah, " he whispered, ashamed of his inability to control himself. " I'm scared if I spent too much time with you I won't be able to restrain myself. "

Sarah looked at him quizzically. " Whatever makes you think that? "

At this, Daniel broke down completely ; Sarah certainly hadn't expected that response from him. She took him in his arms and held him as best as she could given her condition. " Tell me what's wrong, baby, " Sarah encouraged.

Brokenly, Daniel confessed to what had happened the first time he'd been with Samantha. It had never really left him, but the violence of his feelings for Sarah lately was causing the memories to come to the forefront of his mind. " I don't know what happened… Janet says it was rape… Sam never mentioned it again, but I think she thinks the same… I don't know… she said no but I knew she wanted it and I was so goddamn horny… and I'm so scared if I spent too much time with you I won't be able to stop myself…"

Sarah hugged Daniel tightly. He had never told her exactly how Samantha had gotten together, and it shocked her to know he possessed such a capability for violence – he had always been laid back Daniel to her, incapable of hurting a fly. Hadn't he been unable to strike Amonet because of Sha're? So that Daniel could do something like that… she swallowed her disgust for a later time. Right now Daniel needed her support.

" If it means anything, I don't believe you could hurt me like that, " she replied. " But if it means that much to you then I understand why you're doing this – and I thank you for it. "

Daniel sniffled. " You're being too nice, " he said.

" I'm just telling the truth. I know you much better then you think I do, Danny, and I know what you're capable of. You've been so god to me and I know this must be hard on you – but it's only another two months to get through and then everything will be fine. "

Daniel thought about the engagement ring he had stashed away. Now was definitely not the time to propose. But Sarah was right – they only had another two months until the baby was born, and after that everything would be fine. " I love you, " he whispered.

" I love you too, " Sarah replied.

_Daniel was in his quarters when Samantha came in, looking incredibly hot – more so then usual. " Danny, " she said in a sultry voice. _

" _Sam, " he said, his manhood instinctively betraying him at the sight of her. Was it his imagination, or were her army-regulations a little tighter then normal, her plain black shirt a little more figure-hugging? He could clearly make out the shape of her breasts and her protruding nipples. She wasn't wearing a bra. _

_His little man betrayed him even harder_.

_Suddenly Samantha was right up close to him, her body pressed against him. " You want me, don't you? " she asked huskily, grinding her crotch against him. He felt like he was going to tear his pants, the pressure was so great. _

" _Yes, " he replied, his throat hoarse with desire. _

_Within moments they were naked and on Daniel's bed, Samantha on her hands and knees with Daniel positioned behind her. Daniel had always loved doing it in the doggie position, and Samantha had hated it – hated the power trip it gave men. But on this occasion, she was more then willing. "Fuck me, Daniel, " she ordered him. " Fuck me hard. "_

_Daniel was more then willing to oblige. Grabbing her hips, he thrust deep inside her. They both groaned on impact, and he began thrusting hard and fast. " Oh, YEAH Daniel! "she screamed as he thrust in and out of her. " Harder, Danny, fuck me harder! "_

_Groaning and sweating, Daniel pumped her furiously until she was groaning and writhing under him. He felt her climaxing around him, and with one final hard thrust and a drawn out groan, he climaxed hard, emptying himself deep inside her… _

Daniel woke up, hot and very, very sticky. With a cry of disgust, he realised he'd had another dream about Samantha. Another very, very sexy dream. He hadn't had a wet dream since he was in college, but this week he'd had three. And all of them were about Samantha. He was so ashamed. It wasn't quite as bad as physically cheating on Sarah, but he still felt dirty.

He wasn't seeing much of Sarah these days, because of his self-imposed distance. It relieved him to know he couldn't hurt her or their baby this way, but it didn't do much to relieve his raging libido much. Masturbation brought him fleeting relief, a few minutes later he was as horny and preoccupied as before.

Distance from Sarah had solved one problem, but it had created another. Being back at the base had put him in very close proximity to Samantha, far closer then he would have liked, and he was reminded of the powerful chemistry they shared. Jack had once joked that if they'd only been able to harness that power, they'd have no more need for Naquada generators.

Lately, Samantha had been very attentive to him. At the moment, she was being too subtle for him to cotton onto what she was doing, but she was always around, being very friendly. And he wasn't sure, but he thought she had started wearing perfume. And she _never_ wore perfume.

Whatever it was, he couldn't help but notice.

With a disgusted groan, Daniel got out of bed. He decided he needed to be spending more time at home where the frequency of his laundry was no-one's business but his own. He was sure one of the laundry women was giving him dirty looks. She either thought he was having wet dreams or wetting the bed, neither of which Daniel wanted her to be thinking.

Daniel tottered off to the place where the fresh linen was kept. And who should he run into there but Samantha. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw her. " What are you doing here? " he asked her gruffly.

" I could ask you the same thing, " she responded pertly. " And you don't have to be so mean about it. "

He sighed. " Sorry, I just, um… never mind, " he said, blushing. " What are you doing here? " he asked again.

It had been a fortuitous coincidence that Samantha had been unable to sleep and gone for a quick walk around the base and who should she see but Daniel, heading for the linen supplied. She had smiled to herself when she saw that. She knew damn well why Daniel would be heading for the spare linen. She had picked up a few comments from Sandra, one of the laundry women, about the amount of sheets Daniel had been going through in the last week.

Samantha knew that starting to sleep in short, silky nighties was going to come in handy soon enough. Daniel couldn't help but noticing her figure through the short, sheer material. Her breasts were even more clearly defined then they had been through her black shirt in his dream. He struggled to keep his hormones under control. It had been a month since he'd had sex, and he was feeling it badly.

" See something you like? " she asked in her best Mae West impersonation, and Daniel backed off immediately, although the suggestion was already burned into his brain.

" I'm not interested, " he said in a voice that didn't sound completely truthful.

Samantha looked at him with wide-eyed innocence, pushing her chest out slightly. It was a little chilly in the storage room, and it made her nipples stand out prominently. Daniel licked his lips, which had suddenly become very dry, along with his throat.

" I didn't say anything, " she cooed, pouting seductively. Daniel suddenly thought of the song 'Bette Davis Eyes', a references to the actress of the thirties and forties who got around the censorship codes by promising the world through the flash of the eyes, the pouting of the lips, a sway of the hips, without saying a word. He knew _exactly_ what that was about.

" I should go, " he said, pulling out sheets at random. He didn't care if they were flat or fitted, he just wanted to get out of here before he gave into his sudden urge to throw Samantha against the wall and have his way with her.

" Sweet dreams, " Samantha cooed at he left. She smiled at his retreating back. She wouldn't be surprised if he were back here tomorrow morning – rather, later this morning – for more fresh linen.

She knew he and Sarah weren't having sex anymore. He had been acting antsy lately, so she had pulled a few strings and discovered her doctor had ordered her to stop having sex until after the baby was born. That was nearly three months for Daniel to slowly go crazy, and it was apparent the lack of sex was taking its toll after less then a month.

This was too easy.

Briefly, she felt a little sorry for Sarah. If she was in Sarah's position, she would be devastated to have Daniel leave her. But she wasn't Sarah, and as she'd told herself a hundred times before, all was fair in love and war. And if there was one thing Samantha excelled at, it was war.

She stepped up her attempts to distract Daniel. Her shirts and pants were a little tighter, her walk a little more suggestive – nothing anyone cut define and order her to stop, but something that was definitely noticeable. All of the men on the base had noticed in, from Hammond down, and Daniel wasn't immune.

But it was only Daniel she was interested in.

She spent as much time in his office as she could manage, knowing he had come here to distract himself from Sarah. He must be aching for sex. And Samantha with her tight clothes and suggestive walk only made it harder for him.

He cottoned onto her intentions one afternoon when she came into his office and perched herself on her desk in such a way that showed off her long, toned legs. Although it was hard not to show off her legs in the short A-line skirt she was wearing. Technically personnel didn't have to be in uniform when they were off-duty on the base, although most of them, including Samantha and Daniel, chose to stay in their BDUs. But today Samantha was wearing a very feminine skirt and low-cut top that made Daniel forget how to breathe for a few seconds.

" Busy? " she asked suggestively, her eyes and mouth promising a dozen things infinitely more fun then studying manuscripts if he could only find the time.

" Yes, " Daniel replied firmly. " I'm going to be pulling an all-nighter. " He tried hard not to let his eyes wander to her cleavage, which was being propped up by a very effective push-up bra.

" All work and no play makes Danny a dull boy, " Samantha teased, uncrossing and crossing her legs in a way that would have made Marlena Dietrich proud. " Why don't you and I… have some fun? "

And then the penny dropped. Some to think of it, Daniel couldn't work out why he hadn't thought of it before. Samantha was trying to seduce him.

" Forget it, Major Carter, " he said. " It's not going to happen. "

Samantha pouted. " What's not going to happen? " she asked innocently.

He dragged his eyes away from her cleavage and looked her in the eye. " I'm not going to cheat on Sarah. "

Samantha's eyes flashed briefly with anger, but she quickly contained herself. " I don't know what you're talking about, " she said.

" Cut the crap, Sam. You're trying to break Sarah and I up. You're trying to seduce me. It won't work. We're very happy. "

" Well, you and Sarah can't be too happy because I know you've been checking me out, " Samantha retorted.

" How can I not, you make it so easy, " Daniel returned.

Samantha bristled at this. " You want me, " she informed him. He suddenly shifted his gaze and she knew she had hit on a nerve. " You want me so badly, Daniel Jackson, why don't you just be a man and take me? " she pressed her body hard against him and was triumphant when she got an immediate reaction.

Daniel pushed her away violently. " Don't, " he warned.

" Why not? " Samantha challenged. " You're horny as hell, Daniel, when was the last time you got laid? "

" That's none of your fucking business, " Daniel snarled.

" I take it it's been a while, then, " Samantha deducted. " What has it been, a week, two weeks, a whole month? " When she saw the look in his eyes she knew she'd hit it. " A whole month, you must be _aching_ for it. You can't like to me, Danny, I remember how virile you are. I remember some _very_ hot nights with you – and some hot days. "

Daniel clenched his jaw together. " Leave, " he ordered.

" Make me, " Samantha challenged.

Daniel lunged at her, intending to physically push her through the door and lock it behind her seductive ass. She had anticipated this. As soon as he grabbed her, she pushed herself into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissed him. At the same time, she ground her crotch against his, getting an instant result.

Daniel groaned, but didn't attempt to break the kiss. He returned it, kissing her hungrily, holding her tightly against him. She knew she had won. She knew just how bad he wanted it – how bad he wanted _her_. " You can be such a bitch, " he growled in between hot kisses.

" Fuck me, " Samantha shot back heatedly. Her own body was aching for it. Now that she was in Daniel's arms, kissing him, she realised how badly she wanted him. " Fuck me _now_. "

It was just like in his dream, only this time it was for real. " God help me, " he groaned, and he effortlessly picked Samantha up and sat her down on the edge of his desk. His mouth came crushing down on hers in a violent, passionate kiss.

Soon they were pulling at each other's clothes frantically. Something in the back of Daniel's mind told him what he was doing was wrong, but his hormones were running too strong to care. All he could think about was Samantha.

In a few minutes their clothes were off – or at least off enough to get the job done – and Daniel pressed himself between Samantha's waiting legs. He knew without needing to check that she was wet – knew by the wild look in her eyes, the way she was panting like a bitch in heat. " God help me, " he said again.

When he penetrated her, he knew he'd found the release he was searching for.

Sarah had been feeling restless for several days, having not seen Daniel for over a week. They still spoke on the phone most days, although lately she'd noticed he was becoming distant and it concerned her. Damn these complications, everything had been doing so well with Daniel until the Doctor had imposed a no-sex rule. Some days Sarah almost felt it was worth the risk.

She sighed, knowing she didn't really mean that. But Daniel was very virile, and he must be frustrated. She didn't want to think about how he was taking out his frustrations.

To hell with the no-physical-contact rule – that was _his_ rule, not hers. She had never agreed to it, just gone along with it because at the time she had been touched by his concern for her. Sarah was sure that if Daniel saw her, his concern for her and their baby would kick in before he hurt either of them.

She decided she was going to see him.

First she called his apartment – he wasn't at home. So she tried his mobile, and got his voicemail. He wasn't offworld, she knew that. He was probably preoccupied with some artefact in his office – with any luck, he'd welcome the distraction. Thankgod, she'd been given an all-access pass to the base. It wasn't like, after having been host to a Goa'uld System Lord for two years, there was much they had worth hiding.

She made small talk with the guards while they processed her card – she still turned heads, even seven months pregnant. It somewhat soothed her ego over Daniel's distant behaviour.

Awkwardly – top-secret airforce bases weren't designed for pregnant women, even with the advent of lifts – Sarah made her way to the floor that Daniel's quarters were in, passing a few people she knew by sight. She gave them small polite smiles, but didn't stop to talk – she knew from experience just how full of advice some people were towards pregnant women, and right now she wanted to see Daniel.

Three meters from the door of Daniel's office, Sarah stopped dead in her tracks, detecting low moaning coming from his office. Her blood turned ice-cold. She knew _exactly_ how Daniel sounded in the throes of passion. So _this_ was how he was venting his frustrations!

Sarah threw open the door – he hadn't even been far-sighted enough to think to lock it – and gave a piercing cry when she saw Daniel with Samantha, his pants around his ankles, her legs wrapped around him. It had been what she was expecting but that didn't make it any easier.

Her cry penetrated the hormonal haze Daniel was lost in and the effect was like suddenly sobering up. He instantly lost his erection, had no attraction for Samantha whatsoever, and was very aware of what he'd done – and how deeply he'd hurt Sarah. " Oh, God, Sarah, " he cried. In that moment, a doctor wouldn't have been able to tell you where exactly in his body his blood drained to, because it was neither in his face or his lower regions. " Oh, God. " He grabbed his pants and wen t to comfort her.

Sarah was too quick for him, bolting out the door after screaming " BASTARD! " loud enough for people in China to hear. She had to get out of here. She had to get away from Daniel and that harlot he was so enamoured with. She had been a fool to believe he was over her.

" Sarah! " Daniel yelled after her, giving chase. This was a horrible, horrible situation. He wondered if he could ever make Sarah believe if truly had been a one-off. He would _make_ her believe. He would swear to have nothing more to do with Samantha. He would quit the Stargate Command if he had to. That thought surprised him, then he realised that he _would_ give up his life's work for Sarah. He loved her, far more then he loved what he did. And he had to make her believe that it had been one little indiscretion, whatever it took.

Sarah had no intention of letting Daniel catch up with her. Like hell she'd give him the opportunity to tell her how sorry he was, how he'd make it up to her. How exactly did he plan to make it up to her? By swearing fidelity? Clearly, that was something Daniel had problems with.

Blindly she ran through the base, not knowing where she was going, and not caring. So long as Daniel didn't catch her. She had to get away from here. She had to get away from him. She had to –

In her confused, devastated thoughts, she didn't see the steps until she was on the top step looking down. Flailing her arms, trying to grab the handrail for balance, she missed and went toppling over the cement steps, landing at the bottom with a sickening _thud_.

Daniel was a few meters behind her and release an involuntary scream of horror when Sarah went down. In a flash, he was at the top of the stairs looking down. It was not a pretty sight. Sarah's neck was twisted at an unnatural angle, and her eyes were suspiciously glassy. He was no doctor, but he knew enough about medicine to know that could only mean one thing.

" _SARAH! _" he screamed in absolute anguish.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five 

For three days Daniel and Sarah's baby girl hovered between life and death, her basic will to live trying to get the better of her two months premature birth and the fatal trauma her mother had suffered. It was a minor miracle that Janet had managed to save the little girl at all, although often she wondered if she had really managed to save it, or just prolong her suffering before she joined her mother in whatever afterlife there was.

For those three days, Daniel didn't leave the tiny girl's incubator. In fact, Janet wasn't even sure that he'd so much as blinked, he watched his sickly daughter with intensely, as if his will alone could stave off the spectre of death that skirted around the infirmary. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, wouldn't sleep, just watched his daughter, silently pleading with whatever divine spiritual power was out there – God? Oma? He didn't much care who answered, so long as someone did.

Oh, please, let his daughter live. He hadn't been such a bastard to deserve this, had he? To sentence two people to death because of his actions? Why not let hi, die instead? Sarah had been innocent. He was the one to blame.

And now Sarah was dead.

For three days, Daniel tortured himself with guilt. _He_ had caused this. If he'd only been able to keep his dick in his pants. If he'd only had a little more restraint. If only he hadn't been so goddamn selfish.

In the depths of his guilt, he didn't even think about Samantha and the part she had played in Sarah's terrible accidental death. That would come later. For now, he blamed himself, and prayed for his daughter's survival.

Banished to her own quarters, Samantha wallowed in her own guilt. Hammond was genuinely frightened more blood would be spilt if Daniel were to be in the same room as Samantha. And he had good reason, too. She had tempted a committed man beyond endurance and now Karma was punishing her. Funny, as a scientist, Samantha had never believed in spiritual higher powers – life was what you made it and everything had a scientific answer – but now, in the darkest recesses of her mind, she did.

She should never have pursued Daniel. She should have accepted if he didn't come to her freely, he wasn't hers to pursue. She should never have let him go in the first place, but once she had, she should have accepted she was gone.

And now Sarah was dead, and their daughter was dying.

Janet, who couldn't bear to tell Daniel the truth, told it to Samantha. " She's two months premature, " she informed the Major. " That in itself wouldn't be a problem in this day and age – we can keep babies alive that are born four months premature – but the force Sarah suffered in her fall – well, I was lucky just to be able to deliver her by C-section, and sometimes I think it was more of a curse. I don't know if I've done anything more then prolong her life by a few day's. "

Samantha prayed and prayed to some higher power she had never before believed in that the baby would survive. It lay heavily enough on her conscience that Sarah was dead – at least she had died instantly, broken necks tended to do that – but for the little girl to die as well – what had either of them ever done to Samantha to deserve that? A few days ago, Samantha would have said Sarah had stolen Daniel from her, but deep down, she had known that wasn't true. She had let Daniel go, let him go because she was too proud to overlook one little indiscretion.

And when she _had_ realised she loved him, she hadn't loved him enough to let him go. He loved Sarah, she knew that now. She knew from the way he sat in the infirmary, watching, waiting, grieving, that he loved her. She had convinced herself he was only with Sarah because she was pregnant but now she knew he loved her.

Now, that Samantha had played a part in her death.

_Please_, she begged God, for lack of a better high power to be praying to, _please let her survive. I don't know how Daniel will handle it if she doesn't. I don't know how _I_ will handle it_.

On the third day, the little girl, who had never been named, rapidly deteriorated and died over a few minutes. Daniel watched in absolute horror as Janet tried over and over to resuscitate the tiny child, tried far harder then she would have normally. She knew there was no hope for the little girl, but it took her a while to face up to the fact.

" _NO! _" Daniel screamed when Janet called the death. " No, you have to try again. You have to bring her back. You can't just let her die – you can't let my daughter die. She's…all…I…have, " he said in a broken voice that broke the heart of every person in the room.

" Daniel, I'm sorry, " Janet said in her most authoritative voice, although she doubted anything could get through Daniel's broken, hysterical mind. " She's dead. There's nothing more I can do. " They didn't have a sarcophagus on site, and even if they did, Janet doubted it would work. For a sarcophagus to work, there had to be some kind of life there in the first place. She had never had a chance.

" No! " Daniel screamed, and it reminded Janet of when Sha're had died. The man wasn't very good at accepting the death of loved ones. " No…no…" slowly he quietened down, as if all his energy had died with his daughter. " No, " he said again in a broken whisper.

Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel spotted a scalpel on the operating table and lunged for it. Before anyone registered what he was doing, he managed to gouge the sharp instrument deep into his wrist without flinching. By the time he was restrained, he had done some considerable damage, although nothing that couldn't be fixed. Janet ordered him restrained to a cot and given a strong sedative that would knock him out for several hours at least.

For an hour, she was too shaken by the events that had just transpired to do anything. There had been no real risk of Daniel killing himself, there had been too many trained doctors around for that, and deep down, he had probably known that. But it illustrated how deep his grief went – and his guilt.

Without Sarah and their daughter, he didn't want to live.

When Samantha was told about it, she was also shaken. " Oh…God, " she gasped when Janet informed her. " Poor Daniel. Where is he now? "

" He's in the infirmary, restrained, " Janet said. " I'll keep him that way until Sarah's funeral – he'll want to be lucid for that and we have the manpower to keep an eye on him for a few hours. That's not what I'm concerned about. I'm concerned that this illustrates just how deeply his grief goes. And his guilt. "

" _His_ guilt? " Samantha asked morosely. " What does he have to feel guilt about? "

Janet stared at her. " Uh, how about the fact him sleeping with you caused her to run off and miscarry? " she asked.

" That was all my fault, " Samantha said in a small voice. " I'll tell him that, if you want. "

" You will do no such thing, " Janet said swiftly. " There's been enough antagonism between you and Daniel, Sam, it has to stop now. I don't want you to have anything to do with him. He's got his own share of the blame in this, but you have to face up to what you did. You couldn't bear that he'd moved on, you had to try and break them up. You know, there are some people around here who would see this as a pretty effective solution. "

Samantha gasped in horror. " You can't mean to think I _planned_ this? " she asked. She had wanted to get rid of Sarah, it was true, but never like this.

" Of course I don't, Sam. I'm just saying that there are some who would. I think it would be best for everyone if you were to keep your distance from him for the time being. "

Samantha nodded sadly. The last thing she wanted to do was cause more trouble for Daniel.

Daniel came to slowly, reluctantly, his subconscious mind rallying against the pain in his body and conscience mind. He had cut pretty deep into his wrist, and that was hurting badly, but not as badly as his heart was hurting.

Sarah was dead. Their daughter was dead. He may as well be dead.

Clearly, Janet – or someone – had already thought of this, because he was securely restrained. He made a few halfhearted attempts to free himself, but he knew from personal experience what those restraints could withstand. " _Goddamnit it!_ " he yelled in anger, frustration and grief, loud enough to sent a nurse running.

" Doctor Jackson, " she said, unsure of how to handle him. " I'll just get Doctor Fraiser. "

" You do that, " he said irritably. His mind was clearing now, and with it came the sharpness of his grief…and his guilt. And his irritation at being tied up like he was a menace or something.

" I was worried you were a menace to yourself, " Janet told him bluntly when he complained to her. " You cut yourself pretty deeply there. " Tentatively she reached for Daniel's hand, and when he didn't pull away from her, she unbound his bandaged wrist to check his wound. " It's healing nicely, " she said. " Just take the usual precautions with it – keep it sterile, change the dressing regularly. When you get out of here I want you to see me once a day until it's healed completely. "

" When I get out of here? " Daniel questioned.

Janet sighed. She knew this was going to come up. " Right now I don't think you're fit to be unsupervised, " she admitted.

" You mean you think I'm going to try and kill myself again? " Daniel asked.

Janet could already see those blue eyes working, recalling all the strong prescription drugs, not to mention all the untested medications they had brought from offworld, he would have access to with a little fast talking. Like hell she was leaving him unsupervised.

Daniel sank into the mattress, tears welling in his eyes. " Why didn't you just let me die, Janet? " he asked. " I would have been happier. "

_I'm sure you would have_, Janet thought sadly, She recalled her unspoken suggestion when Daniel lay dying of radiation poisoning that he be euthenaised to put him out of his misery. Although these were vastly different circumstances, when she looked into his eyes and saw the depths of his unhappiness, somehow they didn't seem so different. " I'm a Doctor, Daniel, my job is to restore life, not take it. "

" You couldn't restore Sarah's… or our daughter's, " he said accusingly.

" Sarah was dead the second she hit the ground, " Janet reminded him, as gently as she could given the subject matter. " And your daughter… we tried, Daniel, we really did. "

Daniel looked as though he was going to argue with her, but instead he sank back and let his tears flow. " I don't know how I can live without her, Janet, " he cried.

" You'll find a way – you did after Sha're, " Janet said encouragingly. It was hard to be positive about moving on when faced with the kind of grief Daniel felt.

There was a silence for a few seconds and Janet ventured to say, " Tomorrow Sarah's funeral's being held. I thought you'd like to go. "

Daniel looked at her, still trying to comprehend Sarah's death. A funeral made it all the more real. But he knew he had to go. He knew he'd regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't. " OK, " he agreed. " I'll go. "

" No-one's forcing you, " Janet told him. " If you're not up to it, you have no obligation. "

" I SAID I'LL GO! " Daniel yelled, and Janet blanched at the sudden change in tone of his voice. " Sorry, " he said remorsefully. " It's a lot to get used to. "

" I understand, " Janet said softly. She couldn't help but feel profound pity for the guy. Yes, he was partly responsible for the accident that had caused Sarah's death – and the death of their daughter – but he would be paying the price for that through his guilty conscience for the rest of his life. Janet was no phycologist, but she doubted if you could ever truly forgive yourself for something like that.

She decided it would be best to tell Daniel now she planned on having him monitored at the funeral. The last thing the Stargate Command was for one of their members to make a scene and blurt out some state secrets in anger. " You gave me – you gave us all quite a fright yesterday, " she said. " And honestly, I think given the opportunity, you'd probably do it again. " She only needed to look into Daniel's eyes for a few seconds to know that this was true. His heart ached for Sarah ; better to be in the grave with her then alive without her. " So I'm having some security assigned to you – for your own wellbeing. "

" My own wellbeing? " Daniel parroted, his tone lifeless. " I'll feel like crap weather I have a security detail or not. "

Janet gave a small smile. " Yes, but the rest of us will feel better knowing you're not an immediate threat to yourself. " Although if Daniel didn't find a way to deal with his grief and guilt, he would end up being a threat to himself in other ways.

Daniel shrugged apathetically. He truly didn't care what Janet did, beyond the fact she was making it impossible for him to take the easy way out. He supposed he should be grateful, and maybe in the future he would be, but right now he didn't care. He just wanted to die. " Whatever you want, " he said indifferently, in a tone that broke Janet's heart. Daniel had often driven her crazy with his tangents, his obsessions, his pathological disregard for military protocol – but it had all been done with passion, and now he had done.

" It's scary, " she admitted to Hammond later that night. " It's like beyond being with Sarah, he doesn't care about anything. "

" I hope you're not going to give him the option of being with Sarah, " Hammond thundered.

" Of course not. " What kind of a doctor did he take her for? " I'm just saying, it's going to be a lot of work, getting him back to normal – if that's at all possible. I think the most we have to hope for at this time is getting him back to being able to look after himself. Based on my impressions, it's going to be a long, long time before Doctor Jackson's ready to go on missions again. " _If ever_, she added silently, although she didn't say so out loud. Daniel was like a son to Hammond, and no father wants to hear that their son will never be the twinkle in their eye that they once were.

" And what about Major Carter? "

" She's holding up OK, " Janet said. " She's only got guilt to deal with, not grief as well, I think in time, with some counselling, she'll get over it. She has a strong mind. " Which was more then could be said for Daniel right now. " What I'm more concerned about is how she'll be perceived on the base. "

" How so? "

" Well, there's going to be a lot of people who'll say she somehow planned this – or at least that she isn't sorry Sarah's dead. She's a very successful woman, sir, even within the program, a lot of people are jealous of that and would love to see her fall. I'm afraid it will affect how people will see her. "

" At least she's still part of SG-1. Jack and Teal'c won't think so little of her. "

" That's one consolation, " Janet agreed. Although there was only so much time Samantha could spend with her team members before she had to integrate with the other members of the Stargate Command, and Janet was more then a little afraid of the consequences of that happening.

Daniel knew people were expecting him to make a scene at Sarah's funeral, and he wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. He was glad he had come, although he could barely stand it to watch them lower her body into the ground. The morticians had done an excellent job concealing the cuts Janet had made to do the C-section, so she looked eerily alive, just so… still.

So dead.

Sarah was dead. He had to keep reminding himself of that, or he would be likely to forget. Sometimes he _did_ forget, and he was forced back to an unwelcome reality, where Sarah and their daughter were dead, and he was responsible for both events.

_I'm so sorry_, he said silently to the dead woman. _I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could trade my life for yours and our daughter's. _

It was a nightmare for Daniel to meet Sarah's parents, who had flown in from England. To spare them any unnecessary grief, Janet had given her cause of death as a fall, a tragic accident with no extenuating circumstances. The Gardners didn't need to know their daughter had been fleeing from her cheating boyfriend, caught in the act.

Daniel didn't know weather to be grateful or resentful of that interferences. It had been the humane thing to do, and it meant Daniel didn't have to deal with their accusations on top of his own guilt, but in a way, it would have been welcome. He wanted someone to rant and rage at him, externalise some of the guilt he was internalising. He wanted someone to be as angry at him as he was himself. Maybe that would make things easier.

The funeral and wake were nice, dignified. Daniel wasn't sure who had organised it – probably Janet, Sarah hadn't had the chance to make new friends or rekindle old ones since she'd gotten back, Daniel made a mental note to thank her for it – but Sarah would have liked it.

He made appropriate talk with her parents, waxing lyrical about how happy they had been together, how devastated he was by not only her loss but the loss of their daughter – he couldn't bring himself to admit the truth. It would kill them.

After the wake, he was 'escorted' back to the base (a nice way of saying if he didn't go quietly his security entail would drug him and carry him back) where he sat in the infirmary, brooding. He hadn't shown any signs of trying to kill himself, so Janet figured it was OK if he remained unsedated and unrestrained, so long as there was always someone to keep an eye on him. There wasn't much damage he could do to himself in the minute it would take for security to get there. And besides, it couldn't be doing his screwed-up mind any good to be constantly in fog.

So he sat in the infirmary, the only reason he didn't try anything being that he knew there wasn't much he could do in the minute it would take security to get there – damn Janet and her thoroughness. He was glad not to have that damn cloudiness in his head anymore. The pain was sharp now, but he preferred that to the dull, vauge, almost manageable ache.

Sarah had deserved better then that.

He thought a lot, mostly about Sarah and about what he could have done to change things. And inevitably, he thought about Samantha's involvement in the tragedy.

_Samantha_. He hadn't thought about her since Sarah's fall. He'd been too busy, first watching over his daughter, then grieving for them both. But now that the funeral was over and his head was clear his thoughts turned to her.

She had pursued him doggedly, knowing he was committed to Sarah and not caring. She had taken advantage of the fact he and Sarah weren't sleeping together to tempt him. She had tempted him to distraction until he had been unable to think about anything but he and how badly he wanted to fuck her.

Daniel wasn't about to absolve himself of the blame. He knew it was a cop-out to say it had been all Samantha's fault ; she hadn't exactly _raped_ him. But all the same, she had pursued him, tempted him after he'd told her he wasn't interested, after he'd told her he loved Sarah.

After their first tryst in the changerooms, she had told him he'd raped her, that it hadn't mattered that she'd wanted it, she'd said no, several times. By her own definition, she had raped him. Daniel wasn't sure if it worked like that – and he wasn't going to go around crying rape to see if it did – but he still felt used by her.

She had pursued him without any thought for who might get caught. Oh, he knew her well enough to know it had never been her intention that Sarah end up dead – she might even be feeling a twinge of remorse over it – but she wouldn't have felt bad about breaking Sarah's heart. In fact, Daniel was sure that, if that fateful day had merely let to Sarah breaking up with Daniel, Samantha would have considered herself very pleased with the outcome.

Samantha Carter could be very thoughtless when she wanted to be.

Samantha Carter could be a minx, a seductress, a siren when she wanted to be.

Samantha Carter was partially responsible for the dead of the woman he loved, a woman who had done nothing other then be foolish enough to accept Daniel's promises. And she was responsible because she was a thoughtless, selfish woman who truly believed that all was fair in love and war.

All was _not_ fair. _If we're using clichés, why not 'only the good die young'? _

Samantha chose that moment to enter the infirmary. She'd been looking for Janet, having no idea that Daniel was still hanging out there. She stopped dead in her tracks, looking at her former lover in surprise. " Oh, " was the only thing she could think to say. It was the first time she had seen Daniel since Sarah's fall ; she hadn't attended the funeral on the advice of Janet and Hammond. Daniel looked terrible ; he looked like he hadn't eaten since (he probably hadn't, knowing how deeply distracted he could become), or shaved for that matter. Or stopped crying.

On seeing Samantha, Daniel's eyes turned ice cold. What the hell was _she_ doing here? Daniel had no more right to the infirmary then Samantha did (apart from Janet's suggestion that she give him some space), it was a communal area, but since he'd come to be 'kept' in here, he'd started thinking of it as 'his' place. No-one bothered him here. It was almost a sanctuary – as much as a place could be a sanctuary when he was haunted by his guilt.

And now she had come traipsing in here like she had a right to be here, after what she had done!

Something in Daniel snapped. All his guilt, previously internalised, suddenly externalised itself into a furious rage. " WHORE! " he yelled, barrelling towards her.

Samantha stepped back, frightened by this side of Daniel she'd never seen before. He had a right to be angry, yes, but right now he looked – _homicidal_. " Daniel, " she said in the calmest voice she could manage, " calm down. Let's talk about this. " She wondered how long it would take security to get here. And Janet had said she was afraid for _Daniel's_ well-being!

Daniel responded with a heavy slap to the face that sent Samantha reeling. Before she could right herself, he was on top of her, his strong hands around her throat. " She's _dead_ because of you, " Daniel raged. " She's _dead_ because you're a selfish tramp! "

Normally Samantha could kick Daniel's ass, but right now he had something over her – pure, unadulterated _rage_. She had slowly driven him crazy with desire over a month, and now it was all coming back to her. He wanted revenge for Sarah's death.

Samantha's struggled against Daniel's iron grip, gasping for breath. Daniel didn't notice or didn't care that if he held on for much longer he would kill her – maybe that was what he wanted, she thought. " Please… " she begged through raspy breath.

" _Please? _" he laughed humourlessly. " I asked you the same thing… I _begged_ you to leave me alone. " His voice was breaking up now, and he was on the verge of tears. Samantha saw in his eyes the pain he was going through, and she was filled with regret – regret that she hadn't held onto him when she could, regret that she hadn't respected that he had moved on.

" I'm sorry, " she whispered. Despite her struggling, Daniel had a solid grip on her throat, and she could feel the edges of her vision fading to black…

It took two security guards to pull Daniel off Samantha, who gasped frantically for air when the pressure on her throat was released. " WHORE! " Daniel screamed at Samantha as Janet prepared a strong sedative for him, struggling against the hold the guards had him in, determined to inflict the same pain on Samantha that she'd inflicted on him with her thoughtless seduction. " _BITCH! _" He continued screaming names at her until the sedative took effect and he went limp in the arms of the security guard.

" Alright, get him back into bed, " Janet ordered tiredly. She had thought things were under control but clearly they weren't. " And make sure you restrain him. " She didn't want him waking up and going looking for Samantha to finish what he started.

Angrily, she turned to her friend. " What did I tell you about staying away from him? " she asked Samantha.

Samantha shrank at the vehemence in Janet's words. " I'm sorry, I didn't know he was down here. I came looking for you. " She glanced over at Daniel, who was out cold. " Is he – is he going to be OK? "

" He's going to be fine – physically at least. " Janet shook her head sadly. " I knew he'd blame you for some of it, I just didn't realise it would be this bad. I don't know what to do with him now. Clearly, you guys can't be in the same room as each other, and I don't want Daniel to leave the base while he's in this state of mind. "

" So does that mean – ? " Samantha started to ask. The obvious conclusion to her was that _she_ would be the one to leave the base – and by extension, the program – and even for a short period of time, the thought horrified Samantha. She didn't know what else to do other then her work on the Stargate Program.

" No, I don't think that will be needed. For the time being, Daniel needs to be isolated. I'll have a room set up where he can't hurt himself – or anyone else. And I don't want you going anywhere near him, Sam. I mean it. Whenever your intentions might be, right now that's the worst possible thing for him. "

Janet's words stung Samantha. Not long ago, she and Daniel had been in love. Now Janet was saying it would be detrimental for Daniel to see her. " OK, " she agreed. " If you think it's for the best. "

" I do, " Janet said curtly. She ignored the crestfallen look on her friend's face. After all, Samantha had helped cause this sorry situation.

When Daniel woke up again, he found himself restrained in bed once more. His head felt groggy, and he remembered being given another sedative. Because he'd tried to kill Samantha.

At the memory of her, his thoughts turned sour. Samantha. Whore. Bitch. She was as responsible for Sarah's death as he was.

Monitoring his vital signs from another room, Janet was quickly by his side. " How are you feeling? " she asked pleasantly.

" Like crap, " he complained. " Whatever it is you're giving me, it's horrible. "

" If I could trust you not to go around killing people, I might take you off it, " Janet remarked wryly.

Daniel flinched at her gentle words. " I'm sorry, " he said. " I just saw her and I got so angry – "

" It's OK – well, it's not, you shouldn't have done it, but no harm was done. " And Samantha had learned a valuable lesson – there was a reason Janet had told her to stay away from Daniel.

" I want to press charges, " Daniel said suddenly.

Janet looked surprised. " _You_ press charges? " she asked. " You're the one who tried to kill her. "

Daniel shook his head. " Not about that. I mean… sexual harassment charges. "

For a moment the room was completely silent as Janet's mind processed what Daniel was talking about. " She pursued me, Janet, " Daniel explained tiredly. " She wouldn't accept that I had moved on – she wanted to break Sarah and I up. She knew – she knew we weren't sleeping together and she knew – I was having a hard time dealing with that – " at this confession, he turned his head away, blushing. " She was _always_ there, she did something to her uniform and she'd always be wearing these short skirts – and the day Sarah died – " Daniel gulped, feeling tears form in his eyes. " She teased me until I couldn't take it anymore. " Feeling embarrassed at having related what had happened to someone, Daniel turned away from Janet completely.

Suddenly a lot of things were clear to Janet. She'd been aware of the effect Samantha had had on all the men on the base – it had almost been as noticeable as when Hathor had been around – but she hadn't seen any reason for it and had decided it was Samantha's business. But it turned out she'd been altering her uniform, wearing sexy clothes when she was allowed civilian clothes and generally being sexually provocative, all for Daniel's benefit. And he had the entire male population of the base to bear witness to the fact. Not to mention all the women who resented the effect Samantha had had on the men,

Sexual harassment was something that usually applied to men harassing women, but in this case, it could easily apply to a woman harassing a man.

This would kill Samantha's career.

" If that's what you want, " she said diplomatically. Mentally, her mind raced for ways to talk him out of it. The only workable solution was time – especially time away from Samantha. And a lot of therapy.

Samantha would have her own guilt to bear for the rest of her life. This had all been a horrible situation they'd gotten themselves into because of their pettiness, their jealousies, ending with a tragedy that would stay with them both forever. Neither of them needed a protracted court martial to further drag themselves through the mud. Janet resolved to talk Daniel out of it. But in the mean time, she'd humour him.

Life went on. Daniel started seeing a phycologist, and he began showing signs of life. At least, he didn't show any signs of wanting to die anymore, which was a good sign. After a few months, he started going on mission again, although he and Samantha never worked together. Even when they combined expertise was considered the best thing needed for a particular problem, they never worked together, Janet and Hammond deemed it to be for the best.

At first, Daniel was insistent that he wanted to press charges on Samantha for sexual harassment. Janet did her best to talk him out of it, but after a while, the idea drifted out of his head. He decided it was too much trouble, and the less he had to deal with her, the better.

He had been a fool if he'd thought they could ever be friends.

But he had vowed he would never let himself be reduced to one of those bitter exes who fought it out on every available arena – at work, in public, in private. He was no Justin Timberlake. He vowed he would be dignified about this, and by dignified, that meant treating Samantha was polite coolness – not red-hot rage, although not a day passed when he wanted to take her to task for what she done and call her every name under the sun. Bitch. Slut. Whore. Murderer.

He was sure Hammond was just _love_ that.

No, he was going to be dignified about this. As his pain receded to a manageable level, he started going on missions again. Mercifully, Hammond arranged it so he and Samantha weren't hardly ever on the same planet. Daniel knew the General wanted them to patch things up, but that wasn't going to happen so this was the next best thing.

So they remained at a kind of impasse, professionally courteous to each other, so long as they only saw each other passing in the hallways every so often. Hammond did his best to make sure that at any given time, they weren't on the same planet. He wasn't happy to know two of his best people could barely be civil to each other, but he realised it could have been worse. Daniel could have insisted on pressing charges – _that_ would have gone down well with the brass. Kinsey would have had a field day. Things seemed to be pretty stable now. Hammond just hoped they would stay that way.

Samantha never really got over Daniel's coldness towards her. She understood it, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. There were nights when, in the privacy of her quarters, she thought about how close they had once been, and the sorry state their relationship was in now, and her thoughts reduced her to tears.

What she wouldn't give to be able to take it all back. Sometimes, when she was feeling her most sorry for herself, she thought about all the things she'd do if she could do things over. But looking back and feeling sorry for yourself that things didn't turn out the way you wanted was for people who didn't have anything to look forward to. And she had plenty to look forward to.

Or at least, the known universe – and much of the unknown universe, too – depended on her to save it from the Replicators and The Goa'uld. It wasn't exactly the same thing but it worked for Samantha.

She never thought about the fact she had a nonexistent lovelife, even by the standards of the Stargate Command. It was difficult to have a life outside of work when you worked on a cutting-edge, top-secret government project, but it could be done – everyone else on the base proved that.

Everyone but Samantha. Samantha had Jack and Teal'c. She didn't need anyone else. She didn't _want_ anyone else. So she told herself.

She would never admit to herself that the only person she really wanted was Daniel. That ship had sailed.

Besides, she had a feeling one of the many protective females on the base would die before they let her have another shot at him. Sentiment against Samantha was high at the base, particularly among the women. They had all chafed too long under the reputation of the 'brilliant Major Carter' not to take up the cause when a bit of dirt came along. And they were all too fond of the sensitive, hunky Doctor Jackson not to take his side in the cold war that was simmering between the two. Never mind that Daniel wasn't completely free of blame, the women wasted no time in laying it all at Samantha's door.

Samantha pretended not to care. In truth, it hurt, although not nearly as much as Daniel's coolness towards her. And at least Janet was standing by her – it was times like these you discovered who you real friends were. But there had been so many times when she had overheard two women discussing her when they thought she couldn't hear – or maybe they knew she could, and just didn't care. _She's such a slut, the way she seduced him… didn't want him, but didn't want anyone else to have him… I heard she planned it that way, and that she wanted Sarah to die… wouldn't put it past her, she's got no heart… she's got plenty of heart for Doctor Jackson…that's not heart, that's hormones…slut! _

People could be so cruel, especially women. Sometimes Samantha wondered if that was why she'd chosen to pursue a career in such a male-dominated arena. Although the way feminism was going, it hadn't achieved the absence of women in her life that she would have liked.

She refused to let the comments of jealous, small-minded women (pity a military clearance couldn't pick up such personality flaws as that – maybe, being such a male-dominated institution, they hadn't thought to include personality flaws that were dominant among women) get the better of her, although sometimes they got her down. But she never showed that they got her down. No, that would be letting them win. And she refused to let them win. She was Major Samantha Carter, Airforce, she was one of the best at what she did. She was much better then those mean-spirited bitches who tried to bring her down. She consoled herself with the fact that, as SG-1 was considered the Stargate Command's number-one unit, when they were writing the history books, it would be _her_ name they remembered, not theirs.

So she kept her head high and ignored the barbs that flew at her every day. It helped that Hammond sent her offworld a lot, with Jack and Teal'c for company. They didn't judge her, Teal'c especially. He had seen too many different civilisations to judge anything anymore, and she loved him for it.

So life went on, and the days disappeared into weeks, and months, and before they knew it, almost a year had passed. Anubis and the Replicators between them were becoming a more and more imminent threat to Earth. Even with the help of the Tok'ra and the Jaffa, it was a losing battle.

And then one day Daniel was captured by Samantha's Replicator double, assumedly because she wanted the Ancient information that was buried in his mind somewhere.

When Samantha had first heard of that, her first thought had been _Good luck_. They had tried every trick they could think of to extract that information from Daniel and had come to the conclusion that it was a lost cause. Oma had locked it up good.

And then it dawned on her that RepliCarter (how some people on the base had gotten a good laugh about how, when the Replicators were building a soulless killing machine, they had chosen to copy it from Samantha) had much more _thorough_ ways of extracting information then they did.

Ways that didn't have to worry about such niceties as keeping Daniel alive.

Terror gripped at Samantha's heart. She and Daniel hadn't been on speaking terms for over a year, but she still cared for him deeply. And she had kind of let RepliCarter to Daniel.

Jack knew what she was thinking, and tried to tell he it wasn't her fault. He wasn't very successful at convincing her of that.

" She knows he may hold key Ancient knowledge because of me. She's out there because of me. I basically gave her the means to counter the only effective weapon we have against her, " Samantha pointed out.

" Would you feel this guilty if it were anyone but Daniel? " Jack asked pointedly, with one of his occasional flashes of insight.

Samantha squirmed. " Yes, " she said, clearly lying. " I can't help but think what she must be doing to do… what she'd be prepared to do to get that information… and what she'd do after she got it. "

Jack held up his hand in a _stop_ motion. " Quit beating yourself up, Carter, " he said with characteristic gruffness. " And quit thinking of the worst possible situation. Daniel's going to be fine. He's always gotten himself out of tight situations before. Remember that time he almost on Apophis's ship, and dragged himself to the sarcophagus and gated home in the nick of time? " Samantha nodded. " You know he always does crap like that. I think he likes tempting fate. He'll be fine. "

_Yeah, but what if he's tempted fate one time too many? _Samantha asked herself, her heart full of fear – and regret.

As it happened, she didn't have much time to think about Daniel, which was a relief, because there was nothing she could have done to help him. Help came from an unexpected corner in the form of Baal who, for all the pretensions to God-hood, had decided that the Replicators were too much for him to handle alone, and he came to SG-1 with a plan to wipe them out once and for all. Samantha wasn't too happy at having to work with Baal – after all, this was a being who'd made a sport out of torturing, killing and reviving Jack – but at the moment they were all out of options. _Is the friend of my enemy my friend or my enemy? _she asked herself wryly.

Although even with Baal's help, it didn't look like they were going to pull of their plan. They found an Ancient weapon that could destroy all life, reducing it to a molecular level and disintegrating it, and Samantha thought she could modify it to only destroy Replicators, but she needed time, and that was something that was fast running out for them. Whenever Daniel was, they would probably soon be joining him in the afterlife – if there was one.

On earth, Jack and the rest of the Stargate Command were having troubles of their own, being overrun by Replicators. They could shoot at them, but that only slowed them down. It looked like they'd finally run out of luck.

And then something completely unexplainable happened.

The Replicators just stopped. Dropped dead, like a series of computers wired up to a mainframe that was suddenly switched off.

Something was disrupting RepliCater's game plan.

Neither Samantha and Jacob offworld or Jack on Earth had time to think about it, although they were eternally grateful for the break. It bought Samantha precious moments to get the device to work and destroy all the Replicators.

Later, when Samantha was back on earth, she talked about the strange phenomenon with Jack. " Carter, did you notice if the Replicators where you were happened to ... stop in the middle of everything? " Jack asked her.

" Yeah, it was really strange. They just ... "

" Froze, " Jack and Samantha said simultaneously.

" It actually bought us the time we needed to calibrate the weapon, " Samantha admitted. Without that, they probably wouldn't be here now.

" Any idea why that happened? " Jack asked.

" D'you think Daniel had something to do with it? "

" I don't know, " Jack said, shrugging.

Sir, if he was on board that Replicator ship when ... " Samantha began tentatively.

" Carter -- we don't know anything, " Jack interrupted gruffly, not wanting to go down this road with Samantha again. " Let's just…see what happens. "

" Yes, sir, " Samantha agreed in a small voice, but that didn't stop her from thinking about it.

If Daniel were still alive, he'd be here, she knew it. If not for her sake, then he'd want to be celebrating the destruction of the Replicators with the rest of the Stargate Command. He couldn't be on Abydos, that planet had been wiped out and the population ascended. There was nowhere else he would be.

With dread in her heart, Samantha faced the strong possibility that he was dead, that RepliCarter had killed him.

It was one more thing for her to feel guilty over. Jack had told her it wasn't her fault, but she felt it was. RepliCarter was herself, after a fashion, and she knew of Daniel's existence and the Ancient knowledge locked in his brain because of her. She had led RepliCarter to her.

And now she had killed him.

Retreating to her quarters, Samantha curled up on her bed to think about what had happened. Jack was right – this wasn't the first time Daniel had died. But somehow this time it wasn't like the other times.

This time there was more left unsaid then ever. This time she was sorrier then she ever had been.

" Oh, Daniel, " she cried out through the tears she could no longer contain. " I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. "


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six 

Jack said Daniel was coming back, was sure of it, and Samantha tried to share his confidence. " How many times have you thought he was gone, and then he shows up -- in one form or another. I'm sorry, but we're not having a memorial service for someone who is not dead. " Jack turned his head and calls out to the room. " You hear that! I'm not buyin' it! What? " he asked, looking at Samantha's dubious expression on her face. " He's just waitin' for us to say a bunch of nice things about him. Next thing you know, he'll come waltzing' through that door, like, right now. Waltzing ... now. "

Nothing happened.

While Jack continued to prophesise that Daniel would could walking through the door anytime now (Samantha restrained from pointing out that the last time he'd descended, they'd found him naked on a foreign planet, he hadn't just walked through the door) Samantha spent all her free timed holed up in her quarters, not even pretending to work. She couldn't work. She couldn't concentrate. She couldn't think about anything but Daniel.

Most likely, he was dead because of her. Add that to the list of rotten things she'd done to him. _No-one_ was going to console her over that.

With Daniel gone, she had a lot of time to think. Or, rather, she found time to think, much to the chagrin of Hammond, who wanted her back in action in the fight against Anubis. But Samantha's mind, like her heart, lay elsewhere.

With Daniel, wherever he might be.

She reflected a lot, about how she had treated him over Sarah, how she had handled herself – with very little dignity. For years, she had kept Daniel dangling on a string, always hoping for a kiss, a caress, always rebuffing him when he took matters into his own hands, always gently enough that he didn't leave, discouraged. She had always wanted Daniel by her side, just not in her bed.

And when he'd first moved on with Sarah after they'd rescued her from Osiris, she'd been livid, like he'd cheated on her or something. Ha, to cheat on a person you had to be in a relationship and Samantha had made it clear she didn't want a relationship, just a lapdog.

That had been her first mistake.

Daniel had been in the wrong, taking her in the changerooms the way he had. But with newfound clarity, she saw that she hadn't left with much of a choice. She had baited, teased and tempted him until he couldn't stand it anymore. He was, after all, only a man.

However he had gone about it, he would never have raped her. It wasn't what he had wanted. He had wanted her to want him. He had wanted her to love him – as much as he had loved her.

And she had thrown in back in his face by telling him he'd raped her. Samantha doubted if he had ever really gotten over that. To think himself capable of rape must have been a bitter pill for Daniel to swallow.

_Oh, Daniel, I'm so sorry. If I could speak to you know I'd tell you it wasn't your fault. You were only trying to make me see what a fool I was_.

And then Sarah's pregnancy. She hadn't had the security within Daniel's love to accept it as one of those things that happened. She couldn't believe she had ever asked him to stop seeing her. Oh, if only she could do it over. She would be so much more supportive of Daniel, she would be part of the baby's life.

If she could have, she would give Daniel a baby of their own.

She realised now, too late, that she wanted to be a mother – she wanted a child with Daniel. But the realisation had come too late on so many levels…

And then he'd moved on with Sarah and she couldn't accept that. She had disregarded Sarah's feelings with as much thought as she might step on a bug. She had only been thinking of herself. She hadn't even been thinking of Daniel.

She had been a selfish, insensitive bitch.

She knew what had happened to Sarah had been a tragic accident. She knew she wasn't to blame for that, and the guilt she felt for it was gradually receding, although it would never disappear altogether. No, the guilt she felt was because at the time she'd felt no remorse in stealing another woman's man.

And what did she have to show for it? The woman was dead, the man hadn't spoken to her in a year, and her personal reputation was in shatters. Samantha would just about say she'd gotten what she'd deserved.

_Daniel, I'm so sorry. I was thinking only of myself and I guess I deserve everything I've got – namely, nothing but heartache. I'm sorry for so many things. I'm sorry about us, I'm sorry about Sarah, I'm sorry about RepliCarter. I wish there was a way for me to take it back_.

Oh, what she'd give to take it back. Hell, what she'd give just to have Daniel by her side once more. She'd apologise, she'd beg for forgiveness, she'd respect any boundaries he wished to put up. He deserved so much more then her and the way she'd treated him, but if he were here right now, she'd give it her best to make it up to him.

But that opportunity was past, and it was a bitter pill for Samantha to swallow that by the time clarity had finally come to her, by the time she was in a place where she could have been happy and secure in a relationship with Daniel, it was too late.

Being ascended gave you a lot of time to think, beyond duking it out with Anubis. And no matter what he might think about, Daniel's thoughts always came back to Samantha.

Samantha Carter, a blessing and a curse. He had pursed her for years only to be rebuffed every time. And when he'd hooked up with Sarah, she'd lost it, like she had any claim to him.

_She did have a claim to you_, Daniel told himself, and it was impossible to ignore that inner voice of truth. _You belonged to her, heart and soul. Otherwise you would have stopped pursuing her after she first turned you down_.

That was true enough, he couldn't lie to himself. That was the thing about being ascended, the quiet voice of truth buried deep inside you subconscious was a lot louder, a lot more conscious. Impossible to ignore. He had never loved a woman as deeply, as passionately as Samantha, and she must have known it on some level. Even when he was with someone else, he still belonged heart and soul to Samantha.

Oh, he had loved Sarah. She had been his friend, his lover, the mother of his children, his companion, his fellow archaeologist. He knew he would have been very happy being married to her.

But there would have been a small part of him – that voice of truth – that would always have wondered what it would be like to be with Samantha. He would always have belonged to Samantha, body and soul, like she would always have belonged to him, body and soul.

Samantha and Daniel were just one of those couples who, even when they weren't together, were still together. And they'd been fools to think otherwise.

She had behaved badly over the Sarah thing, but he supposed he could understand that. She must have felt so left-out, so insecure. Sarah's pregnancy would have brought out all her feelings towards being a mother, all her insecurities that Sarah had provided for Daniel something she couldn't. He should have been more attentive, more reassuring. He could have done a lot of things to make it easier for her to deal with.

He should have been more honest about his feelings for Sarah. It had been so easy to accept Sarah as a replacement for Samantha, especially considering he had genuine feelings for Sarah – feelings he might describe as the love of his life if he hadn't experience something far more powerful with Samantha.

No, he shouldn't have gotten involved with Sarah to the degree he had. No wonder she had come to see him that fateful day. She had been suspicious of him, and she'd had good reason to be. She must have known that his heart was wholly there. He had only ever been with her when he couldn't have Samantha, and as sincerely as he told her he loved her, she must have known otherwise.

If he had truly loved her, if Samantha truly hadn't meant anything to him, he would have been able to remain faithful to her. He had remained faithful to Sha're for two and a half years, Hathor notwithstanding, a few months should have been a walk in the park. And it would have been, if he'd been truly committed to Sarah. And as easy as it had been to blame Samantha for cheating, it wasn't her fault. It had been his.

_Sarah, I'm sorry_, he told her, and he found it made him feel much better. _I should never have treated you the way I did. I only hope you're somewhere much better right now_. For some reason he couldn't explain, he thought she was. He knew Sarah wouldn't blame him for the way he'd behaved. He knew she was better then that.

Somehow, he knew he was better then that. He remembered Oma saying something like the measure of his character was not in his failures, but his attempts in the first place. What had happened with Sarah was a tragic accident, one set into motion by his own selfishness and inability to face up to his true feelings, but it was an accident nonetheless, and he found himself now able to forgive himself.

It was funny how easy clarity came when you were ascended. Or maybe that was just something you learned after dying a dozen times. Either way, Daniel saw now with great clarity the depth of the problems he'd had with Samantha – and how he could fix them. If he could be with her right now, he could forgive her for all the things she'd done over the course of their sorry relationship – like he was now able to forgive himself.

Daniel decided that being ascended was not for him, at least not at this point in his life. He and Oma didn't exactly see eye-to-eye on things… most things. Come to think of it, he didn't see eye to eye on most things to do with the Ancients. Like their complete disregard for the havoc Anubis was wreaking. Maybe it was something that came with being ascended for years and years, but Daniel couldn't do it. He chafed under the restrictions of being ascended. What was the good in having all this power if you couldn't use it?

He was far too human to be happy being ascended, and for some reason, that brought him comfort. Being human may mean being flawed, but it also meant living. What these people – these _things_ did was not living.

And he wanted to live.

So he got Oma to engage Anubis in mortal combat and then saw fit to hightail in out of there. At least this time Oma (maybe it was someone else who descended him this time, seeing's Oma was otherwise occupied) had allowed him to keep his memory.

He smiled as he returned, happy to be going back.

He and Samantha had some unfinished business.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven 

Samantha had always thrown herself into Daniel's arms when she saw he was alive and well – and in Jack's office. Well, it beat some obscure planet last time. And he had his memory back, too.

Although Samantha could have worked with Daniel forgetting a few things – namely, the whole sorry Sarah affair.

_You get what you're given_, she said, too happy that Daniel was back to care that he still remembered everything she'd done to him in the past eighteen months. Restraining herself, she smiled, giggled a little even when she saw how embarrassed Daniel was to be caught naked once more.

That physique… it had been over a year since she and Daniel had been naked together, and maybe it was just her imagination, but she could swear he looked better then ever. Especially with nothing to hide his modesty but a remarkably small towel – funny how it had seemed bigger in Jack's office. Unconsciously she licked her lips.

" It's, uh, a long story, " Daniel said sheepishly. Samantha could have sworn he made eye contact with her, just for a moment. Then he scurried off to his quarters to have a long hot shower and get changed into some real clothes.

It was strange, seeing Samantha again, especially after all the thinking he'd done. Some instinct told him she'd been worried about him ; the thought touched him. Although Samantha needn't have been so concerned about him. He always came back. It wasn't even the first time he'd been ascended and then been chucked out. That made him grin wryly to himself. _That_ was one for the books – if they ever let him publish his memoirs, which wasn't very likely.

Samantha found him later, sitting on his bed in fresh BDUs, his head in his hands. She knocked on the door gently, and he looked up. " Hey, " she said softly, not sure of the reception she'd get from him and prepared to flee if he was cool towards her.

He smiled absently. " Hey, " he said. " What's up? "

Samantha shrugged, her heart in her throat. " Not much, " she said, omitting the death of her father. " Just wanted to see how you're doing. "

It was the most civil they'd been in a year, and it was strange. " I'm doing OK, all things considered, " he said wryly. " It's not like there's a handbook out there – How To Cope With Being Chucked Out of Heaven. "

Samantha smirked at Daniel's typically self-depreciating sense of humour. " What did you do this time? "

" Provoked Oma into a fight with Anubis, " Daniel replied, his blue eyes trying to project innocence he didn't feel. " I think they'll both be preoccupied for a while. " As two ascended being who couldn't be killed, Oma and Anubis could theoretically be engaged in combat for eternity – if not eternity, then even if Anubis did some day, thousands of years from now get the better of Oma, he would return to find his forced scattered and the Goa'uld all but annihilated.

" So that was you – we wondered who did that, " Samantha said with a knowing smile. Somehow, Daniel was always behind things that the rest of the couldn't fathom.

Daniel shrugged. " It was nothing. It was mostly her doing, anyway. " Now that he was no longer chafing under Oma's rules, he was able to appreciate the sacrificed she had made for the rest of the universe.

" You always say that Daniel. When are you going to realise that it was too something. And while I'm on the subject, were you responsible for the Replicators just stopping the way they did for a few minutes? We thought something – or someone – was messing with RepliCarter. "

" Call it a battle of wills – I think I won. " They may have both ended up dead – well, Daniel was dead and RepliCarter was destroyed – but Daniel was flesh and blood and as such could be, and had been revived. And she had considered him weak, just another machine.

He was human, and for all that meant he was flawed, it gave him advantages that the Replicators and the Ancients didn't have. It gave him emotions, it have him a heart.

" What are you smiling at? " Samantha asked, eager to share in Daniel's good mood.

He shook his head, a smile still on his face. " Just something RepliCarter said about humans being weak… but she's gone and I'm here. "

" Yes, " Samantha said wistfully, her thoughts drifting to her father, who was no longer here. " Yes, you are. "

Knowing her as he did – or at least as he once had – Daniel immediately knew what Samantha was thinking about. " I heard about your dad, " he said. " I'm sorry. "

Samantha tried brightly, trying to push the pain away. " It's OK, he had six years more then he was meant to. We got a lot out of those six years. "

Daniel patted the bed next to him and Samantha gratefully sat down next to him. " That can't make it any easier, " he said. " I imagine it must make it harder, given how close you and Jacob became. "

Samantha's eyes started to fill with tears. " It's hard, " she admitted. " I thought, with him being a Tok'ra and all, he'd outlive me. "

" He would have hated that, " Daniel pointed out.

Samantha shrugged. " Yeah, but it would have been easier on me. " She smiled sheepishly. " That's selfish. "

" We all have some selfishness in us. I guess that's part of what makes us human. " Daniel spoke those words with no accusation in his voice.

" I think I have more then the average person, " Samantha said sadly.

Daniel looked at her incredulously. " I'm sorry, did you just say you're more selfish then most people? Samantha Carter, who's saved the universe's ass on more times then I can count, more selfish then most people? I don't think so. "

Samantha sniffled. " I was selfish… about Sarah, " she whispered.

Her name was like whiplash to Daniel. He had known they would have to talk about it, had wanted to talk about it, but now that the moment was here, he realised what a daunting task it would be. " I wasn't exactly on my best behaviour there, either, " he admitted.

Samantha took a deep breath. It was now or never – if she waited any longer, she thought she might lose her nerve. " Daniel, I was wrong – on some many levels. I was wrong to keep you dangling for so many years, I was wrong to accuse you of rape, I was wrong push you away when I found out about Sarah's pregnancy, I was wrong not to overlook an indiscretion. And I was wrong not to accept that you'd moved on. I loved you, and if I'd been a little less selfish in my love I would have let you go. But I couldn't stand the fact you'd moved on, I was determined to get you back, whatever the cost. I swear I never meant for Sarah to die. "

" I know, " Daniel said. " I always knew that, even when I hated you. " Needless to say, he was surprised by Samantha's string of apologies. She'd obviously been thinking long and hard about this.

" I thought I wasn't going to see you again, " Samantha admitted, sensing Daniel's surprise. " I had a lot of time to think. "

" I had a lot of time to think, too, " Daniel said. " And I realised I blamed you for a lot of stuff that was my fault. I loved Sarah, and I'm sure I would have been happy with her – but there would always have been part of me that wondered what it would have been like to be with you. Because it was always you I wanted to be with the most, Sam, no matter what else was happening in my life. That's why I let you pursue me, why I let you seduce me. I could have held out if I wanted to. I did with Sha're. And I think Sarah knew she was always going to be second best, that's why she came to see me that day… " he broke up, feeling the tears form in his throat. He would never stop loving Sarah, and never stop feeling remorse for the shabby way he'd treated her. She had deserved better, and she'd gotten a man who would always be preoccupied with another woman.

Daniel took a deep breath, fighting back the tears. He had to get this out, or he never would. " Part of me will always love Sarah, and that part of me will never forget her. But I was never in love with Sarah… the way I was in love with you. The way I _am_ in love with you. "

He made eye contact with Samantha, wanting to see her reaction to his words. Her eyes filled with tears. _He was still in love with her!_ " Sam? " Daniel asked Samantha apprehensively, terrified of being rejected. " What's the matter? "

With a strangled sob, Samantha threw herself into Daniel's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, as if she were drowning and he were a life preserver. " Please, " she sobbed, her face buried in Daniel's chest, nearly hysterical. " Just hold me. "

Tentatively, still afraid of being rejected, Daniel wrapped his arms around Samantha's back. Her tears were starting to soak through his shirt, but he didn't mind. " Sam? " he asked hoarsely. " You're starting to scare me. Please say something. "

Samantha's heard the fear in Daniel's voice, and she could scarcely believe he was scared of rejection – even if she hadn't said anything either way. She raised her head. Her blue eyes were glistening with tears. " You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that, " she whispered. " When things were really bad between us, I used to lie awake, wishing I could take everything back, thinking about what I'd do if I got another chance. I love you, Daniel. I was a fool to let you go so easier. I – "

Her words were silenced by a kiss at Daniel lowered his mouth to hers. In the past, their kisses had been passionate, violent, borne of the violent passion they felt for each other – violent passion that had led to so many tears. This kiss was sweet, gentle, borne of many days and nights of mental anguish, reflection – and peace.

After a few minutes of kissing, Daniel broke away. " I love you, Sam, " he said honestly. He had never meant anything more in his life.

" I love you too, Daniel, " Samantha said tearfully. They kissed again.

" Marry me, Sam, " Daniel blurted out suddenly.

Samantha drew back, the sudden nature of his words surprising her. " What? " she asked, although she'd heard him perfectly.

Daniel looked sheepish. " I don't know where that came from, " he admitted.

Samantha tried not to look disappointed. " So you didn't mean it, " she said, trying to sound like she didn't care.

Daniel smiled lovingly. " Of course I meant it, " he said. " I just… didn't realise I meant it until I said it. " Now he was blushing, and he hoped Samantha knew what he meant.

She did. She jumped into his arms. " Of course I'll marry you, Daniel, " she cried, and they kissed. When they broke apart, she gave a squeal of unadulterated happiness that sent the guards running, concerned there'd been another scuffled between the two of them.

" Nothing's wrong, " Daniel said, a satisfied smile on her face. " We're just getting married, that's all. "

The guard looked at them, trying to comprehend the situation. The last time Doctor Jackson had been on earth, they'd been barely civil to each other – and now they were getting married? One thing could be said for Doctors Jackson and Carter, they didn't do things by halved.

They were married at the base in a small, private and very intergalactic ceremony that included the Tok'ra, the Asgaurd, the Nox, the Jaffa and of course the Tauri among dozens of intergalactic representatives. Samantha was only sorry her father couldn't be there, but she had a feeling he was watching her, somewhere.

Afterwards, in the privacy of their new quarters, Daniel and Samantha got ready for the first night together as husband and wife. " It's been a long time getting here, hasn't it? " he asked.

" Yes it has, " Samantha agreed. " Too long. But we're here now. "

" Yes, we are, " Daniel agreed happily. " I love you, Doctor Jackson, " he said, trying out his new wife's new name.

Samantha squirmed happily at the sound of hew new name. All thoughts of being an independent woman and keeping her own name had flown out the window. " I love you too, Doctor Jackson, " she said, and they kissed.


End file.
